Carla: Hey. How's he doing?
Jordan: He's not talking and he's you know... [mimics drinking a bottle]
Carla: What?
Jack: Daddy drinks a lot.
Jordan: First complete sentence. Fantastic.

Carla: Hey, sunshine. You gonna at least say hello? Nothing? Listen I know you keep blaming yourself for this, but you just can't. When my mom died, I thought that because I was a nurse I should have been able to prevent it somehow. But over time I realized that bad things are going to happen and beating yourself up isn't going to help anyone.
[Dr. Cox gets up]
Carla: That's it, sweetie. Come here. Come here.
[Dr. Cox goes to his bar and gets another bottle of scotch]

Turk: He actually said, "I think that's pretty special." Then he got all emotional. I mean, how lame is that?
J.D.: It's pretty lame.
Turk: I'm just not into all of that sensitive touchy-feely stuff.
J.D.: Well, you hug me all the time.
Turk: And even that took a while. Remember the first time you tried to hug me?
[flashback to Turk and J.D. with a group of college students watching sports in their dorm:]
Turk: Yeah!
J.D.: Your sports team won the World Series!
[As J.D. goes in to hug Turk, he flips him over his shoulders]
Turk: Ha. What a game!
J.D.: A grand slam!

Turk: With Dr. Stone it's different. We're not friends. What kind of guy gets all cuddly with people he just met? It's pathetic.
Todd: Dude, that's a little harsh.
Turk: Todd, how long have you been holding that button?
Dr. Stone: Long enough for me to hear what you really think.
Turk: Great. Is there another guy on this planet who's that sensitive?
J.D.: [to Dr. Stone] OK. Let it out. I got ya. [Scrubs sad theme plays] J.D.'s got ya. Hold me tighter. Little too tight. There's a good spot.

Keith: Elliot, why did I have to come?
Elliot: Because we're a couple, Keith. We do things together.
Keith: OK. Would it be OK if I moved? This couch is uncomfortable.
Elliot: Dr. Cox, I am not going to pretend to know what you're going through, but believe me, I've had my experiences. Remember last year when I put my malaria patient through that painful procedure, even when everyone knew he was going to die anyway?
Keith: You know what? I'm just going to go sit in the bathroom.

Carla: I am so mad at you.
Elliot: Yeah, you big jerk.
Carla: How could you stand up Dr. Cox?
Elliot: Wait, is that what we came to yell at him for?
Carla: Well, yeah. What did you think it was?
Elliot: Apparently J.D. told Mr. Ketay in there that I'm throwing him some big birthday party. Yeah, so when he asked where the cake was, I totally panicked and told him we got him a weekend in Vegas.
Carla: What?
Mr. Ketay: [o.s.] Can I see Celine Dion?
Elliot: Oh, anything you want, Mr. Ketay! [to J.D.] You're going halfsies with me on everything.

Carla: I can't believe you didn't show up at Dr. Cox's. Do you have any idea who I had to send in your place?
[meanwhile, Ted and his band serenade Dr. Cox:]
Ted's band: Gray skies are gonna clear up Put on a happy face Hap-happy-hap Brush off the clouds and cheer up
Todd: Hey, if you're not digging this, I've got a hundred jokes about these.
Ted's band: Sunshine all over the place Just put on Put on A happy face Yeah.

Turk: I'll never get a good surgery on this rotation.
J.D.: I can help you with Dr. Stone. He's one of my people. He's a sensie.
Turk: What's a sensie?
J.D.: It's short for sensitive guy. Our music is acoustic alternative. We marvel at fireflies. And when we help a drunk girl home from the bar, sure, we cop a feel... a feel of her hair as we're pulling it back so she doesn't get any vomit on it.
Turk: I'm having a weird med school flashback. I think you held my hair back while I vomited.
J.D.: I did. It was our last year. I didn't want you to get Jagermeister in your cornrows.
Turk: My Latrell Sprewell phase.
J.D.: Hockey?
Turk: Basketball.
J.D.: Damn it.

Janitor: Oh, hey, loose thread.
J.D.: No!
Janitor: Got it. [sings] Knife-wrench! For kids.

J.D.: OK, he's hugging Colonel Doctor which means you got about seven seconds.
Turk: A hug takes seven seconds?
J.D.: A good one does. Here's the plan. What you're going to do is tell him a story that isn't inherently sad. That way, when you get all emotional, he's going to think you're extra-sensitive. At that point, I'll nail you with the menthol. You'll be crying like a ten-year-old Pilgrim widow. Here he comes. And black-tion.