‘Turkey Shoot’
Season 1, Episode 7 - Aired February 17, 2015
Stevie invites David to join her on the Roland's annual turkey hunt. Meanwhile, Jocelyn takes Moira to the spa, and Ted asks Alexis out.
Quote from Moira
Johnny: Okay, did anyone actually see this pillow come out of this container?
Moira: Seriously?! Go to hell! You're a- You're a fool!
Johnny: Okay, Moira, why are we doing this? Why don't we wait for the girl to come in and help us make the bed?
Moira: She never comes, John. [knocking on door] No. Bastard. Bastard!
Quote from David
Alexis: I think that's Ted. Why is he over there?
David: Because he knows how much I love it when mom and dad interrogate your boyfriends. I wonder what they're asking?
Alexis: No, David!
Quote from David
Johnny: All right, just be careful please.
David: Okay. Thanks. You and your nightgown can tippy-toe back to bed.
Quote from Moira
Moira: What the hell? Hey! Where's my towel?! John? Johnny?! Where's my towel?!
Quote from Moira
Moira: John, I had towel and now it's disappeared!
Johnny: There's a towel on the back of the door.
Moira: No, that one has dirt on it!
Johnny: That's not dirt. I used it to kill a bug.
Moira: [screams] I'm sorry. I- I guess I'm stressed.
Quote from Twyla
Twyla: I feel good about this one. Yeah, it's a little less fruity but a little more something.
Quote from Stevie
Stevie: So you'd be Into coming with me on the annual Turkey shoot then. That's something that should excite you.
David: What?
Stevie: The Turkey shoot?
David: Mm.
Stevie: Roland's annual thing. We go out and we hunt turkeys. Been doing it every year since I was far too young to be holding a gun.
Quote from David
David: Nothing would make me more excited than to go hunting for-
Stevie: Turkeys.
David: Turkeys with you. So is this a tweed or a camo situation?
Quote from Jocelyn
Jocelyn: Oh good, you're here, Moira. I was just booking myself an appointment with Janine at the salon and I said to myself, "Wow, Moira really looks like she needs a pick-me-up," so I booked you a Mani too! Little girls' spa day on me.
Johnny: Wow! What a nice gesture!
Moira: May I see a spa treatment menu?
Jocelyn: Oh, well, it's just a salon, so they don't really do all that kind of stuff. But she does give a mean scalp massage.
Moira: Really mean?
Jocelyn: If you requested that, I guess, yeah.
Quote from Alexis
Alexis: So, what're you doing tonight?
Mutt: Making chili. Might do some laundry.
Alexis: A polite person would now ask me what I'm doing tonight.
Mutt: That's what this is about? Sorry. Um, what're you doing tonight?
Alexis: Ted's taking me out.