‘Turkey Shoot’
Season 1, Episode 7 - Aired February 17, 2015
Stevie invites David to join her on the Roland's annual turkey hunt. Meanwhile, Jocelyn takes Moira to the spa, and Ted asks Alexis out.
Quote from Mutt
Mutt: Ted?
Alexis: Mm-hmm. Ted. I don't know his last name. The the, um, doctor.
Mutt: The vet?
Alexis: Yeah, the doctor.
Mutt: The animal doctor.
Quote from Alexis
David: So who is this person?
Alexis: Mm, he's cute.
David: And?
Alexis: And he doesn't have a trust fund, so, like, that's a refreshing change of pace for me.
David: Speaking of people without trust funds, what about that beardy thing that you spend time with?
Alexis: What? Mutt?
David: Yeah.
Alexis: No. Ew. It's not a thing.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Hey, I know you. Yeah, no, Stevie brought you in to see me. I had the pleasure of treating your son's panic attack.
David: So Antonio's buffet, huh? So many choices, one little plate.
Quote from Johnny
Alexis: Okay, you know what? Bye, guys. We'll see you in the morning!
Johnny: "In the morning!" Very funny, Alexis! Don't even think about it. Ain't gonna happen. Ted, not on the first date.
Ted: Yes, sir.
Johnny: Don't wanna kill the buzz, but have fun.
Quote from Johnny
Moira: Alexis seems to have found someone to keep her busy. What about you, David?
David: I'm gonna go to bed. I have to be up early I stupidly agreed to go hunting with Stevie tomorrow.
Johnny: Hunting?!
David: Yeah.
Johnny: Hunting?!
David: Yeah.
Johnny: You said hunting?!
David: Yeah.
Johnny: Wow.
Quote from Johnny
David: Agh!
Johnny: It's me!
David: Who is it?
Johnny: It's your father!
David: What're you doing lurking in our bedroom?
Johnny: I'm not "lurking" in your room. Your alarm is going off, you're not turning off your alarm!
Quote from Bob
Roland: Okay! Gather round, my shooters. Bob has a little prayer here he'd like to offer up. Just a little convo with the big man upstairs for a second.
Stevie: It happens every year.
Bob: Our God, in these times of need, our light in these times of darkness- David, do you wanna..?
Quote from Alexis
Alexis: So is it, like, a small town thing to end the first date with a kiss on the cheek? What?
Mutt: Nothing.
Alexis: What?! It's not like it was a bad date or anything.
Mutt: Well, it sounds like things got crazy.
Alexis: Yeah! I actually introduced him to Beyonce on the car ride on the way home, so that was very special.
Quote from Mutt
Mutt: It's just, if the date's a success with me, I'll let you know it.
Alexis: Okay.
Mutt: I mean, he might as well have shaken your hand.
Alexis: Well, he did that too.
Quote from David
Ronnie: Have you ever held a gun before?
David: Uh, yeah, but it wasn't this heavy, which makes me think that Elton's was actually a toy.