David: Skin-tight clothes aside, do you find Ken attractive?
Patrick: I mean, sure.
David: Then I think you should call him!
Patrick: David!
David: Consider it a selfish act on my part. You have only been with me.
Patrick: And Rachel, and like, a handful of other girls.
David: Okay, we've all been with a handful of other girls. But I'm the only guy.

Roland: [looking at a notification on Stevie's phone] Whoa!
Johnny: Aah! Stevie, your friend just responded!
Stevie: Oh, my God, gimme that! Oh my- Uh, I'll be taking the rest of the day off.
Roland: Okay. Yeah, I'd say her friend responded. [guffaws]

Moira: Are we up yet?
Jocelyn: It's either black or red, even or odd. And you never know where you're gonna land.
Moira: I'm sorry, Jocelyn?
Jocelyn: If you'dve told me 20-years-ago I'd be standing here with an empty chip bucket, stoned out of my mind at a Doodlebops concert, I would've lit a menthol, and had a laugh.
Moira: You went to that show?
Jocelyn: I stepped in briefly, Roland Jr.'s a huge fan of "Wobbly Whoopsy." Moira, you may not believe this, but I used to rock out.
Moira: Well, of course you did, as did anyone with brain cells to kill. I'm thinking of a particular night in Monaco with Maggie Trudeau and the Rolling Stones.
Jocelyn: You rocked with the Stones?
Moira: All except Charlie, but every party has a pooper.

Patrick: David, I love you, and I really appreciate what you were trying to do for me, but I feel no need to meet up with other guys right now.
David: Okay, I mean if that's what you want, then I guess I'm... I'm fine with it, I mean, I'm easy either way. [David and Patrick kiss]
Patrick: Oh. Also, this is gonna sound totally petty, but something about his shoes just made me feel really weird, 'cause they were like, long and pointy, but then...
David: Squared off at the toe.
Patrick: Yes!
David: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I know, it's okay. It's okay.
Patrick: Okay, this is a really long hug now.
David: Just need one more minute, mmm-hmm.

David: This is not how I wanted to spend my night.
Alexis: Me neither. And David, I know what you're thinking, they're probably back at his house, listening to Frank Ocean, laughing, and re-hydrating.
David: Yeah, the more I think about this, the more I realize it was way too early to have introduced this into the relationship. I mean, I thought I was being mature, but in actuality, it was just a classic case of self-sabotage.
Alexis: Chill, David. Hey! [thumps table] Yes, those are all valid points, but this is a moment of growth for you. Was it flawlessly executed? No. Would I have done it? Hell no.
David: Okay, if this is intended to be helpful, you can leave now.
Alexis: But what I was gonna say is, if a cute guy that walks into your store is enough to unravel your whole relationship, you're better off knowing that now, than in a year from now.

Moira: [on video] "Q, R, S," ah! There it is.
Emilio: Here, let me help you with that.
Moira: Excuse me, Emilio! Pause. That kind of physical touch is inapprop-ri-rate. Let's rewind, and try again.
Roland: And now they're gonna come and do it again! [laughing; rewinding sounds]
Moira: Where is it? Let's see. "Q, R, S," oh! There it is.
Emilio: Here, let me help you with that. Is this what you were looking for?
Moira: A double-cassette of the "Best Body Swaps of Sunrise Bay: Season 21"? Yes, thank you. I've been asked to retrieve it for a customer with wonderful taste.
Emilio: I value you as a fellow employee. Perhaps you'd like to meet outside of work for a dinner at my place?
Moira: Fast forward!

Ronnie: No, I'm not gonna be the one to tell her.
Moira: Tell me what?
Ronnie: No, it's not about you, Moira.
Moira: Well, is it about Twyla needing to pick up the pace on that solo?
Twyla: What?

Jocelyn: Uh oh, ladies! Somebody better call Poison Control, because tonight's gonna be... [singing] Nothin' but a good time!
Ronnie: Yeah, I'm not gonna be the one to... Oh, okay. Jocelyn, you might want to take a seat.
Jocelyn: Oh no, there's no time for that. No, no, we have to rehearse our Poison medley. Because when Rikki Rockett makes direct eye contact with you during "Talk Dirty to Me", you are gonna want to talk dirty back!

Jocelyn: Well, what are we supposed to do now?! I didn't pump for four hours straight to get on a chartered bus to go to the end of the street and back!
Twyla: We could go to the cafe.
Jocelyn: Oh! Well, do they have a smoke machine at the cafe?!
Twyla: No, but I can ask George to burn something on the grill.

Ronnie: Okay, but it's been a really long time since I've spun that roulette wheel.
Twyla: And this is the only casino I haven't been banned from as an unaccompanied minor.
Jocelyn: Well, do we still have a reservation at Bucky's Fried Chicken House?
Ronnie: Yes, but I wouldn't let that stop us!