David: Look at you, just drowning in other people's phone numbers.
Alexis: Who was that hunk with the teeny-weeny little polo?
Patrick: His name is Ken.
David: Ken! Just when I thought it was impossible to find a thirty-something named Ken!

David: If you must know, I sent Patrick off to have dinner with that guy who gave him his number today.
Alexis: That hot piece from the store? Why would you do that?
David: Because I think it's funny, and I also think it's important for Patrick to experience other people in order to realize how good he has it with me.
Alexis: What if he doesn't come to that realization? Every time I did that with a boyfriend, I'd send them off with someone who like, wasn't a threat. Like, Pippa Middleton, or Rihanna.

Jocelyn: Moira, it's like, on the inside I feel like I'm 19-years-old, and then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and realize that I'm so not.
Moira: Oh, Jocelyn, you'll soon learn that we aging mortals are blessed with weakening eyes and memories so we don't have to really see ourselves. If you love the number 19, you go be 19. And while you're at it, bet on it.
Jocelyn: I can't take all of these!
Moira: It only looks like a lot. Do as you will. Jocelyn, but whatever you do, rock onwards and upwards!

Moira: This is just sad. Why can't we still go to the casino? If I'm holding the truth stick, I was never planning to attend the concert anyway.
Ronnie: I never pegged you for a gambling kind of gal, Moira.
Moira: Oh, I'm not above a naughty night of debauchery. When Condi Rice and Sharon Stone and I used to make our annual casino sojourn to Ho Chi Minh City, well, let's just say, tôi không bao giờ thua.

Alexis: So what are the GRs?
David: The what?
Alexis: The ground rules. What ground rules did you lay down before you sent him off with that hottie-boom-bottie?
David: Okay, I haven't sent him off with ground rules, because this is a one-night thing.
Alexis: Did you say that?
David: No.
Alexis: So at this point he could like, spend the night, double-dip, kiss on the lips!
David: I don't know!
Alexis: Okay, this is why you have ground rules, David! Josh Groban has a thick, leather-bound binder full of them.

Moira: I've come prepared with casino must-haves: oxygen drops, antibacterial wipes, and military-grade caffeine pills. The pills came from Condi, so if anyone asks, you found them on the floor.

Roland: Oh Johnny, I wish you had told us it was uh, movie day. Stevie and I could've come up with some good recommendations for you. What are we gonna watch, a silent movie from your childhood?
Johnny: It's not movie day, Roland. We're watching an instructional video on professional workplace etiquette, and it's clear from the stain on your top that things have gotten just a little lax around here.

Johnny: I made this at Rose Video a while back, but, uh, I think you'll find it holds up pretty well.
Male Narrator: Employee Health and Safety Series.
Moira: [on video] Where is it? Let's see.
Roland: Oh wow, this looks like the videos Joce and I used to make.
Johnny: Just focus on the content, Roland.

Twyla: Jocelyn's been looking forward to it for weeks. This is her one night out.
Moira: Not to worry. If she's anything like I was with a little moppet in the house, she'll find any ruse to escape for an evening. The Poison concert was merely a device.

David: This is fun! It's the great thing about owning a store, really, is getting to flirt with the customers. You know, just last week, a woman came in and gave me her number.
Patrick: Do you mean the woman who wanted to know when the soap would be back in stock? Who came in here with her husband and kids?
David: Hasn't stopped me before. But thank you for reminding me, I have to call her, the soap did come back in.