Patrick: Hey, what do we think about this one?
David: Oh my God. Since when did James Bond shop to Elm Glenn?
Patrick: So that's a yes?
David: Yes.

David: Can we just get married already? I'm kidding, I want pageantry that takes months and months to plan.
Patrick: Of course you do.

Moira: [on trailer] What have we done?!
Moira: Good. Good. And the egg-laying feels grounded.

Jocelyn: Hi Moira, I don't wanna interrupt you, I can see you're busy watching the trailer again. I just wanted to apologize for earlier.
Moira: No need to self-flagellate, Jocelyn. Even if yours is the lone dissenting voice in the canticle.

Jocelyn: Sorry, Moira, I think my reason for not wanting to jump on the bandwagon is just that I've seen you get your hopes up before, only to be disappointed when things didn't work out.
Moira: I don't require coddling.
Jocelyn: I know. Now that I realize that my opinion means something to you, there is a lot that I liked about the trailer...
Moira: Do go on.
Jocelyn: [clears throat] "From the first ominous syllable of the narrator's tale, one can feel the hair on one's arms standing at afrightened attention. Yes, there will be blood. And, yes, you will be horror-struck. But, more than that, you will be lured, against every instinct for self-preservation, to look inside, and face your very own futile resistance to transfiguration."
Moira: Who wrote that?
Jocelyn: I did.
Moira: You? You did. Oh, wow... Jocelyn, thank you. Nothing about me or my performance?
Jocelyn: Oh. It's just a first draft.
Moira: Yes. Okay.
Jocelyn: I really liked your feathers!
Moira: Mm-hmm.
Jocelyn: They're very life-like.
Moira: Surprise. They are real. 1200 of them hand-sewn into my costume. The live crows on set welcomed me as their own. One even tried to mate.

Alexis: Anyway, it might kill me on the day, but I'm glad that she actually found something to distract herself.
David: Hm. Mm-hmm. Speaking of the day... I have a better job for you?
Alexis: Okay. I think it would be a weird look for me to be a flower girl at my age, David.
David: I've thought about it... and I want you to give me away.
Alexis: Oh my God, David. That's like arguably the most important role of the wedding.
David: A simple yes or no is fine. No need to pull focus. Okay.
Alexis: I do.
David: Great.

Alexis: Although now that I think about it, I could also be the flower girl. Like come out first, wearing a gown made entirely of flowers...
David: No.
Alexis: Just walk down the aisle, and loop back...
David: Absolutely not.
Alexis: And then quick outfit change, and we're up.
David: I take it back, I'm gonna ask Jocelyn.

Johnny: Look at this, a cigarette and a newspaper.
Roland: That stuff could've been here for years.
Johnny: Then explain why the coffee is still hot?
Roland: It's called global warming, Johnny.
Johnny: Okay.
Roland: Why do you strike me as one of those people that doesn't believe in that.

Alexis: Oh my God, I just sent you the first trailer to the "Crows" movie!
Johnny: What?!
Moira: My "Crows" movie?
Alexis: No. Gwen's. They sent over a little sneak peak before it goes live tomorrow.
Moira: Oh, Alexis! This is a critical moment. A siren call to the cinematic rapture that is to come. How did it look?

David: Okay, we gotta press play.
Moira: Oh. Okay.
Male voice: [on computer] Some banks make mortgages way too complicated.
Moira: I don't remember any of this... ?
Johnny: Oh, it's just an ad, Sweetheart.
David: Skip it.