Leslie Knope: It was all just a joke. I can assure you, there's nothing romantic going on between me and Tom.
Chris: I have a very strict policy. No office relationships, particularly between a supervisor and an employee. The taxpayers pay us, so we can't have anything appearing even remotely scandalous. I'm just saying, if you can't keep your mouth to yourself, I'm gonna have to suspend you.
Leslie Knope: I understand.
Chris: Look. Cucumber flower.
Leslie Knope: Wow. That's so cute.
Chris: Wait, that's a garnish. You're not supposed to eat that.
Leslie Knope: What?

Ben: Hey, Tom.
Tom: Yep.
Ben: Um... What was all that stuff with you and Leslie?
Tom: Girl likes Indian food. What can I say? Fine. We got matched up on an online dating site. And I was messing with her. She got pissed. So she took me out in the hallway and kissed me out of revenge.
Ben: Really?
Tom: And as much as it pains me to admit this, it was not disgusting.
Ben: Okay, well, I don't need the details.
Tom: I'm just saying, she knows what to do.
Ben: All right.
Tom: Like, I was impressed.
Ben: Yeah.
Tom: It was stirring.
Ben: Good-bye.
Tom: It felt like...

Andy: Man, we spent, like, 50 hours working on those burgers.
April: I know. Hard work never pays off.
Andy: Cooking is dumb.
April: I swear on this dead crow that I will never cook for you.
Andy: I love you.

Chris: I just wanted to make sure that there were no hard feelings after I forced you to break up with Tom.
Leslie Knope: Oh, we weren't... No. No hard feelings.
Chris: 'Cause it's just a real bugaboo of mine. And it applies to everyone. Just the other day, Ben told me that he might want to socialize with somebody from the government, and I said, "I'm sorry. Not possible."
Leslie Knope: Really? Did he say who?
Chris: No, and I didn't ask, 'cause it's irrelevant. He oversees every department. It simply can't happen. This is literally the best thing I've ever eaten. Mmm. And it's so bad for me. I'm gonna have to jog while I digest this. Excuse me.

Leslie Knope: Hey, what's up?
Ben: Hey. Well, uh, I think I'm allergic to chutney. Also, what's chutney?
Leslie Knope: No clue.
Ben: Yeah.
Leslie Knope: Hey, I never got to tell you the rest of my ideas. You want to go somewhere and talk about 'em?
Ben: Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to. Um, let me get some actual food and then... Um, do you know that wildflower mural up on the second floor?
Leslie Knope: Mm-hmm.
Ben: Yeah? You want to meet there?
Leslie Knope: Yeah.
Ben: Okay.
Leslie Knope: Sounds good.