Ben Quote #355

Quote from Ben in The Comeback Kid

Chris: So, Ben... Why Calzone?
Ben: Glad you asked, Chris. You know, there's fast food hamburgers. There's fast food Mexican. There's fast food Chinese. Blah blah blah. Have you ever wondered why there isn't a fast food option for Italian food?
Chris: What about pizza?
Ben: Pizza? Never heard of it. That's what people will be saying in 20 years, because pizza is old news, Chris. Pizza is your grandfather's calzone.
Chris: Never thought of it that way.
Ben: What I'm talking about is a portable, delicious meal, that is its own container. It's a whole new spin on Italian fast casual dining.
Chris: Amazing.
Ben: And you of all people will like this. I'm gonna use low-fat ingredients.
Chris: Game-changer.
Ben: And I will call my new Italian fast casual eatery "The Low-cal Calzone Zone."
Chris: That idea is literally the greatest idea I've ever heard in my life.
[aside to camera:]
Chris: That idea is terrible.


Features in the collection: Ben Wyatt: Calzone Zone.

‘Ben Wyatt: Calzone Zone’

Quote from Ben in Ann's Decision

Ben: You know what? I'm gonna go with the first place. I really loved that appetizer.
Chris: Oh, the mini-calzone?
Ben: I wouldn't call it that. It was more like a savory pastry. Delicate little dough pocket filled with tomato sauce, cheese, and seasoned meat. Just a stunning culinary innovation.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: It was a calzone.
Chris: It was literally just a small calzone.

Quote from Ben in Pie-Mary

Ben: Well, how about this? What if I register for the contest? I bake the pie. I act as my own wife.
Leslie Knope: Oh, that could work. We sidestep the controversy, we refocus the campaign onto the actual candidate, and then we flip the antiquated tradition right on its head.
Ben: Exactly, but more importantly, we change the idea of what a pie is.
Leslie Knope: I feel like that's not more important, but I-I like the energy that we have, so let's hear it.
Ben: Okay. Picture this. Crust on the bottom, filling, crust on top. What am I describing?
Leslie Knope: A pie.
Ben: No, but you're in the right zone.
Leslie Knope: Oh.
Ben: Calzone!
Leslie Knope: Sure.
Ben: Pies are just sweet calzones, honey, and I'm good at making calzones.
Leslie Knope: You're amazing.
Ben: I can win this thing.
Leslie Knope: Of course you can, baby! Get in there and start baking!
Ben: [sings] Talk about the highway To the calzone-zone!

 ‘The Comeback Kid’ Quotes

Quote from Andy

Leslie Knope: Ron, how's the stage coming?
Ron Swanson: Well, since we had to jettison the bulk of the wood, this is the biggest I could make it.
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God. Good lord, what happened to the rest of my face?
Andy: We had to "Jetsons" most of the poster too, but I kind of like it, 'cause windows are the eyes to the house.

Quote from Tom

Tom: [on the phone] Akash, buddy, of course I came to you first. You're the best carpet man in Pawnee. But here's my question. Do your carpets match your drapes? [laughs]
[aside to camera:]
Tom: How do you make any event classy on a budget? Red carpet. My entire apartment is red carpet. On top of that, leading into my bedroom, a second red carpet. Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Leslie Knope: Ron, you're constructing the stage?
Ron Swanson: Yes, ma'am.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: Leslie wanted to hire a contractor to build a stage. I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.