Chris: So, Ben... Why Calzone?
Ben: Glad you asked, Chris. You know, there's fast food hamburgers. There's fast food Mexican. There's fast food Chinese. Blah blah blah. Have you ever wondered why there isn't a fast food option for Italian food?
Chris: What about pizza?
Ben: Pizza? Never heard of it. That's what people will be saying in 20 years, because pizza is old news, Chris. Pizza is your grandfather's calzone.
Chris: Never thought of it that way.
Ben: What I'm talking about is a portable, delicious meal, that is its own container. It's a whole new spin on Italian fast casual dining.
Chris: Amazing.
Ben: And you of all people will like this. I'm gonna use low-fat ingredients.
Chris: Game-changer.
Ben: And I will call my new Italian fast casual eatery "The Low-cal Calzone Zone."
Chris: That idea is literally the greatest idea I've ever heard in my life.
[aside to camera:]
Chris: That idea is terrible.

Ben: Well, how about this? What if I register for the contest? I bake the pie. I act as my own wife.
Leslie Knope: Oh, that could work. We sidestep the controversy, we refocus the campaign onto the actual candidate, and then we flip the antiquated tradition right on its head.
Ben: Exactly, but more importantly, we change the idea of what a pie is.
Leslie Knope: I feel like that's not more important, but I-I like the energy that we have, so let's hear it.
Ben: Okay. Picture this. Crust on the bottom, filling, crust on top. What am I describing?
Leslie Knope: A pie.
Ben: No, but you're in the right zone.
Leslie Knope: Oh.
Ben: Calzone!
Leslie Knope: Sure.
Ben: Pies are just sweet calzones, honey, and I'm good at making calzones.
Leslie Knope: You're amazing.
Ben: I can win this thing.
Leslie Knope: Of course you can, baby! Get in there and start baking!
Ben: [sings] Talk about the highway To the calzone-zone!

Ben: Okay, so I liked number one, Chris liked number two, and Ron liked number three. Tom, what about you?
Tom: Caterer number one's presentation was simple, mm, yet exhausting. Number two's was subtle and provocative, like a coy Dutch woman guarding a dark secret.
Ben: Nothing you're saying is helpful.
Tom: But number three's told a story. A story from a book I wouldn't read but I would watch the movie of.
Ben: [sighs] That's nonsense.

April: Hello, everyone. I'm April Ludgate from the Parks Department. And welcome to a public forum about the Pawnee Commons. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said to Betty Ford... "Hillary Clinton is great." Now, if you all would kindly look under your chairs, you will find a special surprise, a flyer with details about the project, and friendship bands that I've made for each and every one of you. So now, I guess we're Park Pals.

Chris: What a gorgeous herbaceous medley.
Ron Swanson: There's been a mistake. You've accidentally given me the food that my food eats.
Marv: Salad is traditionally the first course at a wedding.
Ron Swanson: Is a gerbil marrying a rabbit?