Ben Quote #20
Quote from Ben in Ron & Tammy: Part Two
Ben: Excuse me, chief. Sorry to interrupt.
Chief Trumple: Hey, Calzone Boy, what's up?
Ben: Well, here's hoping that that nickname doesn't stick. Right? But that's not why I'm here. Uh, Leslie Knope asked you for a favor the other day, but the real favor we need is much bigger.
Chief Trumple: You mean, like calzone-sized?
Ben: Ah! Sure. We need the Pawnee Police Force to volunteer as security during the upcoming Harvest Festival. Now, the city won't let us throw the festival unless...
Chief Trumple: Say no more. Just send me a schedule of how many officers you need and when.
Ben: Really? Just like that?
Chief Trumple: Leslie Knope gets as many favors as she needs.
Ben: Can I ask why?
Chief Trumple: Because she's the kind of a person who uses favors to help other people. And also, my buddy Dave was the crankiest bastard in the department till he started dating Leslie.
Ben: Huh. So she... Okay. Are they still dating or...?
Chief Trumple: No. Moved to San Diego a year ago.
Ben: Oh. Was it a serious thing, or...?
Chief Trumple: What do you care? You a pervert?
Ben: Nope, nope. I'm all good. Um, everything's fine. This is fine.
Features in the collection: Ben Wyatt: Calzone Zone.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Ben Wyatt: Calzone Zone’
Quote from Ben in Ann's Decision
Ben: You know what? I'm gonna go with the first place. I really loved that appetizer.
Chris: Oh, the mini-calzone?
Ben: I wouldn't call it that. It was more like a savory pastry. Delicate little dough pocket filled with tomato sauce, cheese, and seasoned meat. Just a stunning culinary innovation.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: It was a calzone.
Chris: It was literally just a small calzone.
Quote from Ben in The Comeback Kid
Chris: So, Ben... Why Calzone?
Ben: Glad you asked, Chris. You know, there's fast food hamburgers. There's fast food Mexican. There's fast food Chinese. Blah blah blah. Have you ever wondered why there isn't a fast food option for Italian food?
Chris: What about pizza?
Ben: Pizza? Never heard of it. That's what people will be saying in 20 years, because pizza is old news, Chris. Pizza is your grandfather's calzone.
Chris: Never thought of it that way.
Ben: What I'm talking about is a portable, delicious meal, that is its own container. It's a whole new spin on Italian fast casual dining.
Chris: Amazing.
Ben: And you of all people will like this. I'm gonna use low-fat ingredients.
Chris: Game-changer.
Ben: And I will call my new Italian fast casual eatery "The Low-cal Calzone Zone."
Chris: That idea is literally the greatest idea I've ever heard in my life.
[aside to camera:]
Chris: That idea is terrible.
‘Ron & Tammy: Part Two’ Quotes
Quote from Ann
Chris: I would like a local beer. I'd like it in a bottle. I'd like the bottle to be cold.
Ann: I would like a glass of white wine. I would like it to be chardonnay. And I would like that with one ice cube. Thanks.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [on video] Hello, Ron. It's Ron. If you're watching this, it means that once again you have danced with the devil. Right now, you're probably thinking Tammy's changed. We'll be happy together. But you're only thinking that because she's a monstrous parasite who entered through your privates and lodged herself in your brain. So you have two choices... One, get rid of Tammy, or two, lobotomy and castration. Choose wisely. You stupid [bleep].
Ron Swanson: This is a waste of time. You people have no idea what you're talking about.
Leslie Knope: That was you on the tape. That was you talking.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Wendy: They're getting really old and I'm an only child. I just feel like the right thing to do is to move back home.
Ron Swanson: I'm sorry to see you go. I've really come to think of you as... A companion.
Wendy: Hey, I don't suppose you'd want to move to Canada?
Ron Swanson: [chokes, spits, laughs] Canada. No, I don't suppose I would.