Ron Swanson: You were defecting?
Darren: I like you, Mr. Swanson, it's just... All we do is sit in silence and eat beans.
Ron Swanson: Those beans were a reward.
Leslie Knope: Well, see, the thing is this club is for girls only. Maybe you should start your own club, for boys.
Ron Swanson: Get back to your canvas box. We'll discuss this no further. And I'll thank you to keep the ruckus down so my boys can focus on solitude.

Ben: So, treat yourself day is just a day where you go to the spa and then the mall?
Tom: [sighs] I knew you wouldn't get it.
Ben: Well, I'm a relaxation novice. Give me some guidance.
Tom: Listen to me, Ben-to box, the point of this is to pamper yourself. Just relaaax, man.
Ben: I can't. Something about the sound of harps that makes me nervous.

Chris: I had an amazing lunch. I've already passed the kale salad I had. But, even better? Your daughter was delightful company. Now, I don't want to put you in an awkward position, but--
Jerry: You would like to date my daughter.
Chris: Yes! But you are her father. And that is a sacred thing. I would like to spend the next 2 to 4 days with you so you can get to know me better, to find out if I'm the kind of person who's good enough for your daughter. Then, you can come with us on our first 3 to 6 dates--
Jerry: Chris, I appreciate the gesture, it's very nice, but, Milly, she's a grown woman, and of course I trust her. And I trust you.
Chris: Jerry. Thank you. [hugs Jerry]
Jerry: Mmm.

Ron Swanson: Boys, I'm trying to teach you something about nature and self-reliance. Nothing beats hard work and determination.
Woman: Is this the Pawnee goddesses? I've got the puppies you ordered.
Leslie Knope: Oh! The puppies for the puppy party that we're having in our cabin? Those puppies?

Leslie Knope: I am a goddess. A glorious female warrior.
All: I am a goddess. A glorious female warrior.
Leslie Knope: Queen of all that I survey.
All: Queen of all that I survey.
Leslie Knope: Enemies of fairness and equality, hear my womanly roar.
All: Enemies of fairness and equality, hear my womanly roar.
Leslie Knope: [screams]
All: [scream]
Leslie Knope: Congratulations, you are now goddesses. [applause and cheers] Now, have yourselves a puppy party.

Donna: What's wrong? Out with it.
Ben: I was... seeing a woman, uh, for a while, and then we stopped seeing each other. Uh, pretty recently.
Donna: That's why you've been off your game.
Tom: Sorry, dog.
Donna: You're a catch, Wyatt. You're gonna be okay.
Tom: There's chickenheads everywhere, Ben. Chickenheads all around this mall. You're gonna find one, and you're gonna be great. But, for now, why don't you let it out? Treat yourself to a good cry. One question, though.
Ben: Yeah?
Tom: [deep voice] Why so serious?

Chris: Jerry.
Jerry: Where did you come from?
Chris: Listen, as I said earlier, I want keep everything above board in regards to my relationship with your daughter. And, as you know, Millicent and I went out last night. And... it went terrific.
Jerry: Chris, that's great, but you really don't have to do this.
Chris: Again, the date was amazing, we had sparkling conversation, and, full disclosure, she did spend the night at my house. Have a great day, Jerry.