Jessica Wicks: Actually, speaking of, we're starting up a non-profit foundation to restore our name. Any interest in running it?
Ben: Oh, I'm- I'm sorry, you want me to run your non-profit wing?
Jessica Wicks: I know that Bobby Newport is my stepson, but the work you did on Leslie's campaign was amazing. Your name is on our short list.
Tom: Just to clarify, it's a no to me on all fronts, and you're offering Ben a job?
Jessica Wicks: Yeah.
Tom: Cool. Cool.

Leslie Knope: I think we should do more stuff like this. You know, I think Pawnee needs an amazing arts program. Maybe you should just drop everything and coordinate it.
April: I'm not stupid.
Leslie Knope: What is that supposed to mean?
April: It means that the only reason you brought me here is to distract me from the dog park. You hate this show.
Leslie Knope: I love this show.
April: What's your favorite part?
Leslie Knope: The heavy-handedness.

April: You know what, I have to go talk to Councilman Jamm right now.
Leslie Knope: Why are you talking to Councilman Jamm?
April: Because I told him about the dog park idea, and he loves it. He thinks it's a great idea. He's gonna support my motion at the city council meeting tomorrow, and he gave me a really cool dental mirror to check out my molars.

Orin: Moo. Moo.
Leslie Knope: Quiet, weirdo. Aren't you supposed to be a sheep?
Orin: No. You are.
Leslie Knope: [whispers] Oh, shut up.

Andy: Chris Traeger.
Chris: Yup. Hi, Andy.
Andy: I know you did it.
Chris: Did what?
Andy: [laughs] Don't play stupid and handsome with me. You stole my computer so that I could practice for my police exam. You're as guilty as you are sexy.
Chris: Andy, another computer was reported stolen from the offices on the other side of the courtyard. I don't think this is part of your police training. I think City Hall was robbed.
Andy: I can't tell if you're lying to me. Really?
Chris: I think.
Andy: Like a real crime? That's even better.

Councilman Howser: Next order of business: It's agenda item 280B, a motion to construct a dog park on municipal lot 48.
Councilman Jamm: Ms. Ludgate, you have the floor.
April: Thank you, Councilman Jamm. Your help and general non-awfulness is much appreciated. Leslie, members of the Council, I believe that municipal lot 48 should be a dog park.
Leslie Knope: Boo. Boo. Well, it sounds like there's considerable opposition to this, so I'm sorry, Ms. Ludgate, you should go now.
April: Really? I just heard one hag booing.
Councilman Howser: Ladies, please, let's keep this civil.

Councilman Jamm: Councilman, Pawneeans, satisfied customers of Jamm Orthodontics, as we discuss what type of park to put on lot 48, I had a thought. How about no park? Who here thinks parks are stupid? Let the record show that everyone is raising their hands. I happen to know for a fact that Pawnee's favorite fast food restaurant, Paunch Burger, needs a new location. Now, seeing as how the future of lot 48 is open for debate, I move we sell it to Paunch Burger for a nice profit. You don't even have to be Asian to do math that simple.
April: You told me you wanted a dog park.
Councilman Jamm: Uh, psych.
April: That's not fair. You lied to me.
Councilman Jamm: You just got jammed.
Leslie Knope: Ugh, I hate when he says that.

>Leslie: I told you that Jamm was a snake.
April: Well, it takes a snake to know a snake.
Leslie Knope: So now I'm a snake?
April: Yes. You deceived me for two straight days, and you eat mice.
Leslie Knope: I don't eat mice.
April: Yes, you do. You're a mouse eater. Mouse eater. Mouse eater.

Ron Swanson: Enough! You are friends and coworkers. In this office, we treat each other with respect.
Jerry: Hey, April, how is that dog park coming?
April: Get out, Jerry.
Ann: This is private!
Jerry: Sorry, guys.

Ann: We are not leaving here until you two figure this out. Ron, guard the door.
Ron Swanson: Yes, sir.
Ann: No one leaves the Octagon. I dated an ultimate fighter. It was like a thing he said.