Jerry: "When I heard Ben was getting married, I was like, 'to Leslie or to Game of Thrones'?"
Tom: Ugh, horrible delivery.
Jerry: "You ever heard Leslie talk about Ben's butt? [bland] "I'm all like, 'Damn, girl, you mad sweet on that back meat.'"
Tom: You're murdering my beautiful words! Do you even want to kill at this wedding?
Jerry: I just want Leslie and Ben to have a nice night. I'm sorry. I--
Tom: No, no. It's my fault for believing in you.
Jerry: Well, look, um, to be official, I just have to do the vows and the pronouncement. So why don't you handle the speech, and then I'll just come in at the end?
Tom: Well, I'm not crazy about the part where you do something. But, I do like the idea me doing something. Let's give it a shot.

Chris: I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight. And I have already broken that promise five times. But I will not... break it a sixth.
Ben: Go ahead and let it out, buddy. It's okay.
Chris: I have something for you.
Ben: All right.
Chris: It is the letter from the statehouse... Telling us that we have been assigned to Pawnee. Dated May 1st, 2010.
Ben: No way.
Chris: We were supposed to be here eight weeks. I'm so happy that those eight weeks turned into three years, and that you met Leslie, and that we both found a home.
Ben: Damn it, you're transferring your crying thing over to me.
Chris: It's okay, buddy, let it out.

Ann: I gathered up all the meaningful bills, pictures, documents, and memos from your career. What do you think? Is it okay?
Leslie Knope: It is the most beautiful object I have ever seen. It is like the Ann Perkins of dresses.
Ann: Yay.
Leslie Knope: It is amazing.

Andy: [gasps] Leslie, wow! You look amazing. Oh, my God!
April: What?
Andy: I'm not supposed to see you before the wedding.
April: No, that's the groom.
Andy: I ruined it!
April: Andy, that's the groom.
Andy: Well, I saw him too. I'm just gonna cover my eyes, just to be safe.

Andy: Just this once, I thought I nailed something.
April: Well, I'm still proud of you. You worked hard and you got really close.
Andy: Close only counts in horse grenades.
April: What?
Andy: It's a saying. Because if you're playing horseshoes, and then you throw a grenade at a horse, it doesn't have to be that close, and you can still blow the horse's legs off. It's from the movie Seabiscuit.

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] There were a lot of signs that Ben and I should get married tonight. But, truth be told, we just really wanted to get married. When you're in love, everything seems like a sign. I love my husband. I love my job. And I love my friends. Even though they really can't handle their booze.

Councilman Jamm: Ow. You broke my tooth.
Leslie Knope: Well, good thing you're an orthodontist.
Councilman Jamm: Yeah, it is a good thing. You see my house? Five bathrooms.

Chris: How's it going in here?
April: Good. I was just telling Andy that I'm proud of him.
Andy: [laughs] Oh. And I was just explaining to April that I'm a failure, and she should leave me for Orin.
Chris: Andy, this is a very important moment for you. How we deal with tragedy defines who we are. I used to be terrible at it. Beyond terrible. You are not going to let this deflate you. You are going to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and we will figure out what the next step is.

Leslie Knope: Are we really doing this?
Ben: I gue-- Why not? The gala ends at 11:00. At 11:01, we get married.
Leslie Knope: Okay... But, wait, my mom isn't here. And your parents aren't here.
Ben: Good.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, that makes it better.

Ben: Also, we need rings and marriage licenses.
Chris: Oh, let me be on rings. I love what they symbolize.
Ben: Great.
Andy: And I can do the license. I got a guy that works at City Hall. That guy's my wife.
April: Um, you also work there.
Andy: Oh, yeah.