Leslie Knope: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Jamm, I thought this bill was tabled?
Councilman Jamm: Yes, and I called a special session and un-tabled it. What's up with the roller skates?
Leslie Knope: I was about to attend a roller skating birthday party for my husband, but this is more important.
Councilman Jamm: Yeah, I don't care. I'm a blades guy.
Leslie Knope: Point of order! The councilwoman wishes to speak on this issue.
Councilman Jamm: Will the councilwoman yield her time so we can vote on this sucker?
Leslie Knope: No, I will not yield. Nor will I yield for the rest of the evening.
Councilman Jamm: A filibuster? Are you dookin' on my chest right now?
Leslie Knope: No! Gross!

Chris: She's filibustering on roller skates? She's gonna be strapped into those things for hours.
Ben: I know this is a dire situation, but I swear to God, this is like a crazy sex fantasy for me. [takes photo]

Tom: Hey! You're supposed to be my lookout.
Nadia: I thought it'd be funnier to watch you get busted.
Tom: Hey, you're a doctor. You know snitches get stitches.

Leslie Knope: I remember the first time I voted. I was in my bedroom, and I was five. I voted for Mildred, my stuffed pig, but my cat, pancakes, won. She had more funding. Politics, right? What are you gonna do? How long have I been talking? Three hours? No, eight minutes. Okay.
Councilman Jamm: Maybe you should yield the floor. Milton doesn't have a lot of time... left on earth. Hey, just kidding, bud.
Councilman Milton: Will someone open my crackers?

Ben: The session ends at 11:00 P.M. She has to talk the whole time. She can't lean on anything for support, and no one else can help her. Three strikes and she is done.
Chris: This is literally the most exciting thing that I've ever seen. I mean, think about it. Where else on earth would you rather spend your birthday with Leslie?
Ben: Well, maybe the birthday party she's throwing for me right now.

Leslie Knope: As I dissect this important and profound statement, I'm just gonna take these off for a second.
Councilman Jamm: Bam, strike one. No sitting. [hits gong]
Leslie Knope: Is the gong really necessary?
Councilman Jamm: Yes, it is. I love Chinese crap. Lucy Liu, Nintendo, Gangnam Style, sushi, et cetera, et cetera. Also, more importantly, it's in the rules. No sitting.
Leslie Knope: Okay, fine. Well, the strike is worth it if I can take these off.
Ben: Oh, man!

Donna: Wow. You suck at this.
Ron Swanson: Donna, please back up two paces so I can physically destroy this machine.
Donna: Can you chill a little, man? It's not real hunting. It's just a game. That you happen to suck at.
Ron Swanson: You know what? That's a good point.
Donna: What? That you suck at this?
Ron Swanson: That it's not real hunting. Come with me.

Tom: Hey! Perkins! What are you doing with my bear? I've been playing skee ball for, like, two hours trying to win that for Nadia.
Ann: I just bought it for 50 bucks. When I was a kid, I taught myself how to make out on this bear, pretended it was Cockroach from The Cosby Show.

Leslie Knope: As Ronald Reagan would say, "Well, mommy, I believe voting rights are important." Does anyone else think it's hot in here? These overalls are really starchy.
Councilman Jamm: Yeah, maybe that's 'cause I turned up the heat to 90, and, uh, oh, the knob broke off in my hand. [chuckles] Oops.
Leslie Knope: Well, speaking of heat, we should discuss America's white-hot passion for voting rights and the men and women who help protect them, like the local city councilwoman who is starving and thinking about her husband's Reservoir Dog-themed birthday cake and wanting to eat it really badly.
Ben: Oh, this is not a good sign. Once she starts thinking about birthday cake, she's basically useless until she eats birthday cake.
Leslie Knope: Democracy is not unlike a cake. It's layered, delicious, chocolate, and I want some.
Chris: Okay, she's fading. Ben, we need to find a way to smuggle some mineral oil drops onto her tongue.

Councilman Jamm: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Excuse me. What the hell are you people doing here?
Glenn: We represent the citizens of former Eagleton. We're here to support Leslie Knope for preserving our voting rights.
Leslie Knope: Thank you! You are all warriors of democracy. You know, it was the first mayor of Pawnee, in 1817, who said, "All we have is the right to vote and the right to kill Indians without consequence." And I believe that half of that statement is still true today. [cheers and applause] All right! Second wind!