Andy: Here are all the troublemakers, boss.
April: Thank you. Meagles! I am not screwing around. Okay? Lauren, no more discussion of Majorca. Majorca is off limits. Brian and Gloria, stop making Horatio feel bad that your daughter went to Yale. No one gives a [bleep]. And, Ginuwine?
Ginuwine: Yes?
April: Get it together.
Ginuwine: I'm sorry, April. Kathy started this.
April: [mocking] Kathy started--
April: I don't care!
Ginuwine: She doesn't mean it.
Andy: Don't cry, Ginuwine. It's okay.
Ginuwine: Thanks, Andy.

Ben: Ah, my head. Last night was so fun. But my head died.
Leslie Knope: Yeah. Yeah, mine's filled with concrete. Okay so-- Yesterday, you pretended you were gonna run. Today, you're gonna pretend like you're not gonna run.
Ben: Oh, no. Jen posted the campaign ad. It's everywhere. I'm running. How could she do this to-- Oh, God, I'm remembering things. [Leslie sighs] We called Jen last night, didn't we?
Leslie Knope: [phone beeps] Yeah, we did. Ugh. I also called 867-5309, 100 times.
Ben: Oh, God.
Leslie Knope: Bad. What do we do?

Jennifer Barkley: There you are. Surprise, surprise. Whoa! Oh, you guys should've corner-boothed it. 'Cause you look awful.
Ben: Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Jennifer Barkley: You're gonna scare off the other customers.
Ben: Shh.
Leslie Knope: Hey, Jen.
Jennifer Barkley: All those kids keep you up all night? I'm so happy with my choices.

Ben: Okay, Jen?
Jennifer Barkley: Yeah?
Ben: Um, I know I left you a message last night, but I really do think you should have checked with me before throwing me into this.
Jennifer Barkley: No, Ben, I'm sorry, you left me four messages last night.
Ben: What?
Jennifer Barkley: And they contained very specific policy positions.
Ben: [on voicemail] I want to come out strong on education. Then I'll tack hard into fiscal responsibility.
Ben: Oh, my God.
Leslie Knope: [singing on voicemail] 8-6-7-5-3-0-9.
Jennifer Barkley: I love that song.

Leslie Knope: Wow, honey, you were a lot more lucid than I was.
Jennifer Barkley: Wait, were you guys drunk? That is hilarious.
Leslie Knope: No, we weren't--
Jennifer Barkley: Oh, you guys are gonna fit in so great in Washington. Most of Congress is drunk, all of the time. Okay, official presser is tomorrow at 9:00. You could bail if you want. But it would be embarrassing. It might derail your career. Might not. Probably will. But you never do know though, right? So just let me know what you want to do, okay?
Ben: Will.
Jennifer Barkley: I'm just gonna go spend my time doing exactly what I want to do, because I don't have children. Bye, guys.

Leslie Knope: [on the phone] Hey, Roz. Oh, okay. We have the zebras. Tell the kids not to worry, they're coming back home. Also, we want to give you a raise, and anything you want to take from our house. Okay, bye.

April: Donna. Hey. How did I do?
Donna: Everything was perfect. You are a miracle worker. But I gotta say I kind of miss the Meagle drama. I thought for sure somebody was gonna do something crazy. But everybody's just nice and chill. Anyway, I love you, and to thank you, I'm gonna try not to hug you.
April: Thank you.
Donna: I'm going to--
April: No!

Joe: To Ben.
Ben: Donna and Joe.
Tom: To me. I own my own restaurant and several other properties. That's always worth celebrating.