Tom: Life, huh? It's quite a ride.
Ann: Yes, Tom, it is.
Tom: I got you a going-away present. I'm deleting you from my phone. You're finally free of my animal magnetism. Maybe one day years from now when we're both old and Chris is dead, you'll run into me somewhere. I'll be opening my latest mega club. I'll see you there on the street by yourself and I'll tell the bouncer/my bodyguard, "Hey, that woman's way too old to get into this club, but why don't you let her in the back?"
Ann: That's very generous.
Tom: Stay golden, sweetheart.
Ann: I'm gonna miss you too, Tom.
Tom: Shh.

Ron Swanson: Again, I don't see the problem. I shook the man's hand. Twice.

Chris: Guys, look what I got at the president's day booth. [as J.F.K.] Ask not what your country can do for you.
Andy: [laughs] From Family Guy, right?

Leslie Knope: Okay, I am gonna call the official ceremonial ribbon cutting guy, 'cause I think we may have missed him. [hisses]
Ann: What are you doing?
Leslie Knope: It's for the raccoons. You have to hiss really loud and stomp your feet so they'll leave you alone. And if one comes close, make yourself really large like a puffer fish. [hisses]

Chris: Well, um, thank you. Um, this tear, um, caused by the overwhelming thoughtfulness of my friends will be my baby's first memory.
Ron Swanson: Salt water will warp the wood. So keep your tears in your eyes where they belong.
Chris: Will do, Ron Swanson.

Chris: It was your idea to get me that box.
Ben: Ah, it was a group effort.
Chris: But it had that trademark Ben Wyatt mix of thoughtful and resourceful. You are literally the best friend that I will ever have.
Ben: You too, man.

Leslie Knope: Okay, well, this is normal. No big deal. Drive safe.
Ann: We will.
Leslie Knope: I packed you some sandwiches and some caffeine free iced tea. So--oh, and there's a mix CD that I made already loaded in your car. There's a lot of Sarah McLanahan, so, Chris, I apologize. Things are gonna get emotional. [chuckles]
Ann: I love you.
Leslie Knope: I love you too.

Leslie Knope: Raise your hand if you want waffles.
Jerry: I'm eating waffles.
Ron Swanson: Bacon and eggs, please and thank you.

April: Okay, well, let's go set up this party.
Leslie Knope: April, thank you. I know you may tease Ann, but deep down inside I can tell that you really care.
[aside to camera:]
April: Ann's leaving town and saying painful good-byes to loved ones. Greatest day of my life!

Ben: 2008 Indiana state audit spreadsheets? Man, that year was insane!
Chris: That was the year you went from being an auditor to a legend.