Leslie Knope: Hey, Ron, have you seen April?
Ron Swanson: I've been mostly focused on these ribs. By the way, you're out of Easter ham and Thanksgiving turkey. Great party.

Jerry: And you're kind and you're thoughtful and you're always such a delight to have around. I am sure you are going to be an incredible mother.
Ann: Thanks, Larry. That's nice.
Ron Swanson: Good-bye, Ann. I have enjoyed parts of our time together.
Ann: [sobs] Oh, God, Ron.
Jerry: [sobs] That was really something.

Leslie Knope: For old time's sake? Does that mea--no! Ann, you tricky minx.
Ann: Yep. I went on a date with Perd.
Leslie Knope: What?
Ann: It was during that "explore my freedom as a single woman" phase.
Leslie Knope: Wow.
Ann: We just had a drink. And at the end he said, "I am going to kiss you now by putting my mouth on your mouth." And then I ran away.
Leslie Knope: It was absolutely the right call.

Chris: Guys, what are you doing here? Come in. You caught me before my first run of the day. I call it my "Beat the Sun" run. It's a race between me and the sun.
Ben: Well, we got one more gift for you.
Ron Swanson: It's quarter-sawn zebra wood adjoined by floating tenons to the black walnut corner posts. Finished with a wiping varnish that's a secret Swanson family recipe. Handmade at my woodshop, and you are correct. It is gorgeous.
Ben: You're starting a new life with your new family, so it's an empty buddy box to fill with memories for your little buddy.
Andy: Or...twizzlers. That's the beautiful thing about a box.

Leslie Knope: [on the phone] What do you mean, you can't? Look... I am throwing a farewell party for my best friend, Ann Perkins. And if she casually mentioned 3 years ago that she thought indoor fireworks would be cool then guess what, you're gonna give me indoor fireworks.

[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Tonight's biggest surprise is 5 years in the making. It all goes back to when I first met my best friend.
[flashback:]
Ann: I'm here to talk about the abandoned lot on Sullivan Street. I've been trying to get this thing fixed for months, and it's government-owned and you need to do something about it.
Leslie Knope: I will help you.
Ann: Is that a promise?
Leslie Knope: It's more than a promise. It's a pinky promise.
[back:]
Leslie Knope: That promise launched a friendship so grand it takes 103 scrapbooks to capture it. I have secretly arranged to officially break ground on Pawnee commons at midnight, fulfilling my pinky promise that I made five years ago. Oh, ice cream sandwich taste test! That was our biggest fight.

Ben: Hey, so we have a little farewell gift for you. We all pitched in and got you a gift card from that home store, "Pots and Pans."
Chris: We have been on the prowl for some amazing pots.
Ben: Well, that card's for three pans.
Chris: Either way, this is great. You know what? We should get to the good-bye party, although I know it's mostly for Ann.
Tom: Yeah, but there's, like, one corner for you and it's just carob cookies and berries.
Chris: Carob cookies and berries are literally my favorite dessert alternative. I'll go get changed.

Leslie Knope: [on the phone] Hey. Are you on the lot? Is everything okay?
April: Uh, not really. Public works put up a giant padlock on the fence and a sign that says "No trespassing."
Leslie Knope: That probably doesn't apply to us.
April: There's also a sign that says "Especially Leslie Knope."
Leslie Knope: Well, Leslie Knope is a very common name. There's a professor in Copenhagen named Leslie Knope. They probably mean him. Do they mean the professor?
April: Yeah, there's a picture of you also. And two huge security guards.
Leslie Knope: Holy mother of Malia! And Sasha. I love them both equally.

Ann: Leslie can't watch anything with Julie Andrews in it before bedtime because it gets her too hyper.
Ben: Okay. If Chris gets cranky around noon, just stuff some chia seeds into a fig, works every time.
Ann: Awesome, thank you. Wow, we really picked some intense people to spend our lives with, huh?
Ben: Yeah.

Andy: Dude, Ann, you know what I just remembered? We used to date.
Ann: [chuckles] Yeah, we lived together for two years.
Andy: I know, it's crazy, right? Anyways, you're the best. Have fun in Mexico.