Nick: Shut up! I'm trying my hardest! I shouldn't have fired Javier. I got to apologize. This is all my fault.
Schmidt: Obviously, this is your fault-- everybody knows that-- but a boss never apologizes. It shows weakness.
Cece: I feel like if Javier came back, the rest of the staff would come back.
Schmidt: That's a great idea.
Nick: I just said that.
Schmidt: Such a great idea. [kisses Cece]
Nick: Well, then give me one, because I said it first. If you're giving it for that idea, if it's about that idea, then I deserve one. But I don't want one. And I felt left out. [clamoring continues] Shut up!

Nancy: Well, I wonder what's taking them.
Jess: Probably just the traff. You know, the old 'ic. [both laugh]
Flip: "The old 'ic."
Jess: Anyway, I was thinking, um, is there anything you guys like to do that Fred doesn't like to do? 'Cause I-I kind of... I kind of just want to hang out with you guys and not Fred.
Nancy: Hmm.

Schmidt: Wow. L-Lovely home. Look, Javier, we've-we've come to give you an incredible opportunity: for you to apologize and get your job back. So, what do you say? [chuckles] Okay, uh, well, Javier, let me tell you something. Uh, I've been in the business world for just shy of half of two decades, and I can tell you that an opportunity like this does not come along often, so... Your boss is extending his hand.
Nick: Schmidt, stop. Look, Javier, I'm sorry. I messed up.
Schmidt: Nick, don't apologize.
Nick: I've never been a boss before, and it's weird, man. You're my friend, Javier. Remember when your cousin was in town and-and my cousin was in town and we kissed each other's cousins and... then we peed on the ice maker?
Javier: Yes. I remember that fondly.
Schmidt: So rough.
Nick: Look, we both chose the bar over other stuff. I-I could've been a lawyer, and-and you were a dentist.
Schmidt: Were you really? You were gonna be a dentist?
Javier: Endodontist.
Nick: Look, it's my job to keep the bar open, but I still want it to be a great place to work. If you come back, that'll be my top priority. That and getting your old skanky cousin back in town, so I could make out with her. And my skanky cousin back in town, so you could make out with her. So what do you say?
Javier: I say... ...your mother. [chuckles]

Jess: Okay, so you're saying that if I date Fred that we can all keep hanging out together.
Nancy: Yes. We don't want you to lose us or for us to lose you. You're the child that we always wanted to have. Imagine us as grandparents.
Jess: You think I haven't already?
Nancy: You'll learn to love Fred. And even better, you'll never have to go on a first date again.
Jess: Yeah. That sounds really good.
Nancy: There's no rush. I mean, why don't we go up to the Vermont house in the next few weeks and all be together?
Jess: Vermont house?
Flip: Oh, yeah. It's an 18th century farmhouse that we kind of refurbished.
Jess: Gah. Oh.
Flip: We send romantic notes on the clothesline.
Jess: Oh, my geez.
Nancy: And a loom in the barn.
Jess: [chuckles] Poof.

Winston: Look, I am terribly sorry, you guys. We got held up by an overzealous cop.
Nancy: Well, now, Fred, uh, Jess was just saying how much she likes model trains, right, Jess?
Fred: I didn't know you were a railie. That's so great. What's your gauge? Are you a G gauge? Uh, G scale, gauge one? HO scale? TT scale? Probably not a tabletop girl, right? Do you do it costumed? Or do you just do it leisurely? I deal mostly with the, uh, transitional era, post-Industrial Revolution. [Flip groans] I collect a lot of open-air coal engines. I'm the president of my module group, actually. We use horn hook couplers, so I'm kind of one of the best at scenery building. Uh, just finished this beautiful sanitation depot, made completely out of balsa. I also was the first to implement wire-framed humans, so that the people are poseable. Station agent
is now... now he can bend his arm to say hello as the train passes. There's one little girl I use-- I call her Sally. I'm also quite good at flocking snow, so I'm very popular around the holidays.
Jess: Ah! Stop! Please stop. I just, uh... I ca... I can't do this. I can't believe I was even considering doing this. I can't just settle down to settle down.
Flip: I really, really want you to consider what you're giving up.
Nancy: Yeah, Terry Gross owns the house next to us in Vermont.
Jess: Oh, my God. Do you run into her at syrup festivals?
Fred: We had a horse. Until it ran away. Its name was Daniel. Daniel Boulevard. I got to pick the last name, and I named him while we were in the car.
Jess: I have to go!

Jess: Let's go.
Winston: [to Flip and Nancy] Hey, listen, Jess and I really aren't that close. I'm all about horses.
Jess: We're going!

Nick: I know. And that's why, as a manager, I'm thinking I have to fire you.
Schmidt: Maybe you should fire me. What do you think? You save enough money, buy me out one day, you run this place on your own.
Nick: You really think I could?
Schmidt: Yeah, definitely. I mean, your dumb bitch of a mother sure could.
Nick: What?
Schmidt: Your-your mother, who, uh, we're referring to in this circumstance as a dumb bitch. I think she could probably...
Nick: Wait, what?
Schmidt: Come on. That's what you and Javier do, right? C... Your... Uh, your mother, who, uh, you know, is a dumb... is a dumb... Is that not... is that not how the joke goes?

Winston: Um, can I have another napkin?
Nick: Are you sure?
Winston: Uh, yeah, I don't need one.
[Nick looks knowingly to Schmidt]

Winston: You know, look, I know they turned out super weird and kind of like rich pimps, but... I just kind of miss 'em, you know?
Jess: I'm glad they were weird. Kind of snapped me out of it. I was about one park day away from a Vermont model train-themed wedding.

Javier: Yo, Nick, you like my shirt? It look like I'm naked.
Nick: Very cool, man. [laughs] Come here, man. [they high five] Hey, get out of here. I'll catch up later. Boss man's got to go over the books.
Javier: Okay.
Nick: Good to have you back, man. [to himself] Oh, this is very terrible.