Nick: [over Walkie-Talkie] Nick for Jess. Incoming knocking. [enters room] Jess, have you seen... uh, uh, cherries?
Jess: I'm so confused by your question, that I'm just going to answer it, uh, directly. Yes, I've seen them.
Nick: Hmm... but have you seen the cherry that I'm talking about?
Jess: What do you mean?
Nick: I... the... I was with it, and then the cherry's gone. [phone rings] This is cherries. This is cherries. Yes! [exits]

Nick: [on the phone] I-I don't know if you remember this, but w-we have plans today.
Schmidt: It'll be fine, okay? I have return tickets for 1:00, 2:00 and 3:00 p.m. on this ultra low cost, no-frills, disgusting airline.
Stewardess: Tray tables, $12.

Jess: I need you to pull it together, and just say something simple. Schmidt's asleep.
Nick: Schmidt is asleep. That's... Schmidt's asl... What-what rhythm are we doing?
Jess: The normal human rhythm.
Nick: Okay. Schmidt is asleep. Schmidt is asleep.
Jess: Nick.
Nick: Did I say it, or no?
Jess: You said it, but it sounded very weird.
Nick: But it wasn't right.
Jess: Just say it like all one. In all one.
Nick: Yeah, Schmidt is asleep.
Jess: You could just say, Schmidt's asleep.
Nick: Got it. Schmidt's asleep. Got it.
Jess: No, you're putting weird emphasis on weird syllables.
Nick: You do it.
Jess: Schmidt's asleep.
Nick: Hey, Cece, Schmidt's sleeping, slip.

Nick: I'm so nervous, I'm going to screw this up.
Jess: You're always so ready to believe the worst in yourself, and right now, I need you to believe the best, okay? I just need you to tell one lie.
Nick: Okay.
Jess: I believe in you.
Nick: Here comes Schmidt!
Jess: What?

Jess: Oh, my God. I'm so proud of you.
Nick: I know, I'm an incredible liar.
Jess: Yeah, pace yourself, 'cause that was one lie. We're going to need about 40 more.
Nick: Or one big one. Okay, we tell Cece we're giving her a bridal vitamin, but secretly we give her a sleeping pill that we take from Dr. Sam.

Nick: Jess, Reagan's here. My Reagan's here. Our Reagan's here. Your Reagan.
Jess: Our Reagan.
Nick: Your Reagan.
Jess: The Reagan.
Nick: Jess. Reagan's here.
Reagan: Hi. You asked me to be your date to the wedding, and I had to be in town anyway, so here I am.
Nick: [phone rings] Excuse me one second, Reagan. It's cherries on the phone. Wedding stuff.
Jess: Kitchen's still the kitchen, bathroom's still the bathroom, and Winston's married.
Reagan: Oh, I know. He texts me every day.

Nick: [on the phone] Schmidt, you are getting off that plane [walkie-talkie clicks] in time for your wedding.
Cece: Schmidt's on an airplane?
Schmidt: Cece?
Jess: Oh, my God. Are you sitting on your walkie?
Nick: Oh, no. [Cece enters]
Jess: [gasps] Cece. Schmidt's asleep?

Jess: There's been a minor delay. The vineyard dog is giving birth.

Nick: [over walie-talkie] Get them drinky so they don't get thinky, over.

Jess: Okay... update. The vibe's getting ugly. People are getting dangerously drunk. I found a loose EpiPen on the floor, which can't be good. I think we're gonna have to start telling people that Schmidt's... on a plane. Or not. Don't freak out.
Cece: Mom?
Priyanka: Schmidt's on a plane?