Winston: Hey, you guys. Um, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Now, I know everyone's going through a lot, but I think it is time for me to start a puzzle.
Nick: No, it isn't.

Winston: [sings] Puzzling Winston is about to do some puzzling About to get into some puzzle troubling

Nick: Oh, I fell asleep. How long have you been driving? Those cops look like they're about 15 and they have huge guns. Jess, are we in Mexico?
Jess: All in!
Nick: We're in Mexico! Oh, my God, pull over! That pinata's shaped like a monkey!

Jess: You know what? It's gonna be weird going back to having sex without a bunch of feral dogs watching.
Nick: Why am I not hungry? I should be hungry.
Jess: Remember when we lived in that loft, and, like, we had all those problems?

Schmidt: [on the phone] Voice mail? Again? Where have you been? It's been four days, man. Have you really been doing it with Jess this whole time? That's disgusting. Nick, I did something really wrong, and, uh I just I need to talk to you. I need to talk to my friend. Come home. [hangs up] Yeah, I should try him again. Dial best friend one.

Winston: Hey, man, how'd she take it?
Schmidt: Devastated. I'm sure glad that's settled. Hey, man, I'm gonna go shower.
Winston: I'm proud of you. I know it must have been tough. Hey, Schmidt, who do you call if puzzle pieces are broken?

Jess: Oh, hey! Hey Hey, pal. That's a really cool bracelet. Do you think I could try it on?
Boy: No.
Nick: Listen to me, okay? Will you lean in here for a second and listen to me? One day, you're gonna meet a girl, you're gonna really like her, and you're gonna want to give her everything, but you won't be able to afford it because your life's kind of in shambles and you don't have money. Look at you, kid, you got a great-looking face. I don't know, you might have a tough go of it. What do I know? Just promise me this Promise me you're gonna try to enjoy your life as much as you can, 'cause one day you're gonna be dead, and, you know. Can I have your bracelet, for real?
Boy: No.
Nick: If you don't give me the bracelet, I'm gonna strangle you to death. [boy hands over the bracelet] Thanks, buddy.

Jess: Hi. Um, we have some questions.
Schmidt: Jess, I got this. I know how to handle these people.
Front Desk Clerk: Is this for me?
Schmidt: That's for you to send your kids to college, or for you to send some fun up your nose. Your choice, bro. Don't worry. We're looking for our friend Nick Miller if he's still alive, and his head if it's separate.

Front Desk Clerk: You know who you should talk to? Manny.
Jess & Schmidt: Manny.
[outside, they talk to a groundskeeper]
Manny: Talk to Julio.
Jess & Schmidt: Julio.
[inside, they talk to a custodian:]
Julio: Talk to Brad.
Jess: I don't really feel right about this.
Schmidt: Oh, Jess, you're so naive. It's a game. We're working our way up the ladder. Brad is clearly the kingpin.
[in the hallway, they talk to a bell hop:]
Brad: Thanks so much.
Schmidt: Okay, that didn't work.

Nick: Hey.
Jess: Oh, my God, I thought he was taking you to jail.
Nick: No, it's resort jail, and it's not so bad. They let me watch Ugly Betty.