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‘Elaine's Big Day’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

New Girl: Elaine's Big Day

225. Elaine's Big Day

Aired May 14, 2013

Jess is determined to make sure everything goes to plan on Cece's wedding day, but Schmidt and Winston have other ideas.

Quote from Winston

Nick: I'm trying to turn it off, you idiot!
Winston: Oh... no.
Nick: What's going on?
Winston: Uh... Bucky got out of his cage, man. Let's go get him.
Nick: No! No! I'm getting out of here!
Winston: No, you're coming with me. You got to help me find the badger, Nick! You don't be no bitch!

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Quote from Nick

Nick: Hey, give me the keys.
Jess: Where are we going?
Nick: I don't know. Where did we come from? Where do we go? Where did we come from?
Jess: [chuckes] Shut up.
Nick: Yeah, that was "Cotton-Eyed Joe," wasn't it?

Quote from Winston

Winston: Hey. Bucky bit me. Bit me bad.
Nick: Hmm.
Winston: Yeah. So, um... so I'm pretty dizzy.
Nick: Okay.
Winston: Okay, what happened with Jess?
Nick: We called it. And she left. Yeah, we-we called it off. So, now I'm gonna drink, because that's my move.
Winston: Yeah. That was also your dad's move. Yeah, when things get messy, you just run away. But, you know, there are other moves. [Nick chuckles] Go.
Nick: Thanks, man.
Winston: Hey, bartender, can you call an ambulance? I'm about to bleed out. Thanks, man.

Quote from Nick

Jess: Hey, guys! Hurry up! I'm the maid of honor and I have to be there early and I wanna get a picture in before we go.
Nick: Miami Vice called and I'm not sure... I don't know how to finish that joke.
Jess: What?
Nick: Ah, it's a crap joke, scratch it.

Quote from Schmidt

Elizabeth: But you must have feelings for her. You tried to sabotage her wedding.
Schmidt: I sabotaged her wedding as a friend. I didn't want her to marry someone else as a friend. It's only romantic because it's a wedding. I would be just as happy to sabotage, I don't know... let's say, her tax audit.

Quote from Winston

Winston: What? No, no.
Nick: That's my phone.
Winston: I said no phones.
Nick: I know. I'm gonna get it.
Winston: They can track us with phones.
Nick: What is going...? Relax. You're so weird with pranks. What is going on with you?
Winston: Put the phone away!

Quote from Bob Day

Bob Day: Let's do this. Okay, you ready? Scrunch together. There we go. No... uh, Rick, move one step to your right.
Nick: Me?
Bob Day: Yes, one step to your right. One more step to your right.
Nick: I can't go much further.
Bob Day: One more step to your right. Until you get into the hallway, and then, once you get in the hallway...
Nick: No, I see what you're doing, dude. Very funny, buddy.
Jess: Dad. Dad, Dad, we have to go...
Bob Day: ...go directly to the Chinatown trash can where you got that suit.

Quote from Schmidt

Elizabeth: There are so many fun, cool traditions at this thing. The groom comes in on a white horse.
Schmidt: So, basically, they're just copying my Bar Mitzvah.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Guys, guys, shut up and listen to me, it's Cece. She doesn't want to get married.
Winston: Damn.
Nick: What happened?
Schmidt: Well, her exact words were: "I don't want to marry Shivrang, but my whole family has flown out here from all the way across the world. I can't back out now. Please, Schmidt, as my closest friend, help me."
Nick: What did Jess say?
Schmidt: Well, Jess didn't hear it. Cece told me with her eyes.
Nick: Oh, so nothing happened.
Winston: Cool, so she's marrying Shivrang.
Schmidt: No, guys, I know Cece. I know her looks.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: I have let her go. I'm with Elizabeth now and she's amazing. Look, Jess, I'm telling you this as Cece's friend and nothing more.
Jess: Cece loves Shivrang. I know that 'cause I know her better than you do.
Schmidt: False. When you've had sexual congress with someone and you've peered into their soul at the exact moment of fulfillment... Ew.
Jess: Ew.
Nick: [gags]
Winston: No, no, hear him out.

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