Winston: Schmidt, calm down. What is your problem?
Schmidt: Two women are in love with me. The problem is, is I'm in love with both of them.
Winston: Okay, looks like you're gonna have to choose.
Schmidt: Cece and I, we have this connection. You know, it's physical it's unhealthy. Look, I don't want to get too graphic with you, but I'm not just the plug with her. I'm also a socket.

Schmidt: What about his shoes? Any interest in his shoes?
Winston: Hell no. There's no way you're getting these damn shoes, okay? These are my favorite brown shoes. And besides, this is all your fault, Schmidt.
Jess: Nick's body's being traded like cigarettes right now!
Schmidt: Winston, those shoes are not brown they're green.
Winston: What the hell you talking about, man?
Jess: Those shoes are green.
Winston: You guys are idiots, all right? They're as brown as money.
Jess: What color is Kermit the Frog?
Winston: Brown. It's a brown frog.
Schmidt: Winston, you're color-blind, dude.
Winston: What? I am not color- I am not color-blind.

Schmidt: [to Nick] Winston does not get me at all.
Winston: What?
Schmidt: And, plus, he's color-blind, which basically makes him crippled.
Nick: You're color blind?
Winston: Please, tell me these shoes are brown, right?
Nick: Those shoes are green.
Jess: They're definitely green.
Winston: Okay, you both are crazy. Did you text them and tell them what to say?
Schmidt: Winston! If you think those shoes are brown, what color do you think you are?