Adrian Monk Quote #1822
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Is Up All Night
Adrian Monk: Just hurry! It's on Harrison Street. Called the Bay City Cafe.
Delivery Guy: You mind telling us what's going on?
Adrian Monk: Gully was right. It's a different city after dark.
Delivery Guy: Who's Gully?
Adrian Monk: He's the guy who stole my wallet. I learned a lot from him. Here's what happened. Nothing I saw was real. It was all a con game. There were three of them. Grifters looking for an easy mark. And they found one. A coin dealer named Jacob Posner. Posner thought he was buying drugs. But it was all a show for his benefit. They wanted Posner to think that he was in serious trouble. They told Posner they could cover it up and make it all go away. For a price. They were all in on it. The drug dealer, the so-called cop, and the waitress, Zena Davis. They only had a few minutes, but it was enough time to clean up all the blood before I got back. Posner thought he was paying them hush money. He gave them dozens of coins. Rare coins, they must've been worth a fortune. He had no idea he'd been conned until later, when we showed up. We mentioned that the dead cop was, in fact, alive and well, and we just had seen him at the train station. Posner realized he'd been conned. He didn't take it very well.
Delivery Guy: That's a hell of a story. I guess I'll be reading all about it tomorrow night. Here we are.
Features in the collection: Here's What Happened.
Monk Quotes
‘Here's What Happened’
Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk and the Actor
Lieutenant Disher: How you doin'? We were looking at this case all wrong. It wasn't a burglary. It was all about the wall. The whole time. Here's what happened. The killer was in here last Thursday night. This is where he met Michelle Cullman. They have an artist in here a few nights a week sketching the customers. He drew their picture right there on the wall. After the murder, the killer remembered the sketch. That sketch could hang him. It could prove that he was with the victim the night she died. And it would prove what he was wearing. The same shirt we found at the murder scene. He had to destroy that sketch. So he smashed through the wall and pretended it was part of a burglary. He just pretended to be breaking into a pawn shop. It was never about the pawnshop.
Female Cop: I know.
Lieutenant Disher: You know?
Female Cop: I was here ten minutes ago when Monk was explaining it to you.
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Gets Hypnotized
Lieutenant Disher: All right, well she told some paramedic that she loosened one of those baseboards. She pretended to be asleep. When he came back to check on her. Bam. Side of the head. [Monk laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, do you have something you'd like to share with the rest of us?
Adrian Monk: I can see his butt.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, the man is dead.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, of embarrassment! Sorry. I've got it. Here's what happened. Tuesday night, Larkin abducted his wife from that parking lot. He overpowered her. Maybe he drugged her. Then, he brought her up here. He kept her prisoner. For three days, he taunted her. He humiliated her. Something about some jewelry. He- He even refused to feed her. But last night he went a little too far. In all the excitement, his pants fell down. He killed himself. He didn't have a choice. She'd seen his hiney. [laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think we're done here.
‘Mr. Monk Is Up All Night’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Hey, hey!
Delivery Guy: Poindexter?
Adrian Monk: I need a ride. Police emergency.
Delivery Guy: Are you a cop?
Adrian Monk: I'm an ex-cop. It's an ex-police emergency.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Home Shopping Salesperson: [on TV] Next we have this set of porcelain figurines. Can we get a close-up of these? Aren't they exquisite? Now, this is a limited edition, So, once their gone, they're gone. Oh, we have a call! Hi, what is your name and where are you calling from?
Adrian Monk: My name is Adrian. I'm calling from San Francisco.
Home Shopping Salesperson: Hello, Adrian. Welcome to the Shopper's Network. Are you buying these figurines for yourself?
Adrian Monk: Uh, I wonder if you could do me a favor. The panda on the end is a little crooked. If you could just rotate it slightly. About 15 degrees.
Home Shopping Salesperson: The panda? Well, if it's that important to you.
Adrian Monk: Thank you.
Home Shopping Salesperson: Mm-Hmm. Well, Adrian, now that you see them all lined up, would you like to order a set?
Adrian Monk: Mmm, no, I've seen them cheaper all over. I do have a question about the giraffe though. Does his head look symmetrical to you? I mean, look at it.
Home Shopping Salesperson: Brian, who is this guy?
Adrian Monk: I'm sorry, I can't sleep. Help me.
Home Shopping Salesperson: Okay, well, thank you for calling in, sir. These lovely figurines each is hand crafted, but there are only a few hundred left. So... Oh! Here's another call.
Man: [o.s. on TV] It's the same guy.
Home Shopping Salesperson: Don't answer it.
Quote from Natalie
Natalie: [answers phone] Hello?
Adrian Monk: Ah, thank God you're awake.
Natalie: Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: I couldn't sleep either. Can you get over here?
Natalie: Oh! I can't, I'm sorry, um, Julie's sick. She's got 101.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, that's pretty serious. Be sure you bundle her up before you put her in the car.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, I'm not coming over. Is this about the woman that you saw?
Adrian Monk: I keep thinking about her. Natalie, I think I'm going crazy.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you just need to get out of the house, you know, go someplace. Take a walk.
Adrian Monk: A walk.
Natalie: Yeah, that's what I do when I can't sleep. A little exercise, some fresh air.
Adrian Monk: Where would I go?
Natalie: Oh, it doesn't matter, anywhere. Just head south.
Adrian Monk: If I headed north, I could swing by your place.
Natalie: Mm. I would head south.