Adrian Monk Quote #2154
Lieutenant Disher: All right, well she told some paramedic that she loosened one of those baseboards. She pretended to be asleep. When he came back to check on her. Bam. Side of the head. [Monk laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, do you have something you'd like to share with the rest of us?
Adrian Monk: I can see his butt.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, the man is dead.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, of embarrassment! Sorry. I've got it. Here's what happened. Tuesday night, Larkin abducted his wife from that parking lot. He overpowered her. Maybe he drugged her. Then, he brought her up here. He kept her prisoner. For three days, he taunted her. He humiliated her. Something about some jewelry. He- He even refused to feed her. But last night he went a little too far. In all the excitement, his pants fell down. He killed himself. He didn't have a choice. She'd seen his hiney. [laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think we're done here.
Features in the collection: Here's What Happened.
Lieutenant Disher: How you doin'? We were looking at this case all wrong. It wasn't a burglary. It was all about the wall. The whole time. Here's what happened. The killer was in here last Thursday night. This is where he met Michelle Cullman. They have an artist in here a few nights a week sketching the customers. He drew their picture right there on the wall. After the murder, the killer remembered the sketch. That sketch could hang him. It could prove that he was with the victim the night she died. And it would prove what he was wearing. The same shirt we found at the murder scene. He had to destroy that sketch. So he smashed through the wall and pretended it was part of a burglary. He just pretended to be breaking into a pawn shop. It was never about the pawnshop.
Female Cop: I know.
Lieutenant Disher: You know?
Female Cop: I was here ten minutes ago when Monk was explaining it to you.
Adrian Monk: "Once upon a time in a kingdom called San Francisco, there lived a brave little prince. And his name was Tommy Grazer. Tommy lived with a wicked king and queen. The queen was very greedy. She loved gold, and she wanted more and more. The queen had a plan. She would find a young fiddler from a wealthy family and kidnap him and hold him for ransom. They locked the fiddler in a dungeon. The fiddler's family was very sad. They would do anything to get him back. The wicked king and queen needed to prove that they were serious, so they chopped off the fiddler's finger and planned to leave it in the park. But Prince Tommy was very brave and very smart. He liked to reach into ladies' purses. He reached into the queen's purse and he grabbed the finger." That's where you found it, isn't it?
Adrian Monk: "Then Tommy made a new friend named Mr. Monk. Mr. Monk remembered something that the wicked queen said: 'The kid found a pinkie. It's no big deal.' How did she know the missing finger was a pinkie? The police never released that information." And then, the most wonderful and surprising thing of all happened. Mr. Monk discovered that he loved that little prince. But he also realized that the little prince could never live happily ever after if he stayed at Mr. Monk's house, because Mr. Monk can barely take care of himself. And so, they're gonna have to say good-bye. The end.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Dr. Lawrence Climan: We are going to take a little trip together, you and I. We are going back in time. Going back before the pain. Before the fear.
Adrian Monk: Before the fear.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: Good. You're with Trudy now.
Adrian Monk: No, no! Trudy. I'm gonna lose her again. I'm gonna lose her again!
Dr. Lawrence Climan: Okay, okay. We're moving on. We're- We're- We're moving back a little further. Now, you're in high school.
Adrian Monk: It's third period. It's gym class. They're gonna make me climb that rope. I can't climb that rope.
I can't, please don't make me climb that rope.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: Okay, okay, no, no. We're moving back, moving back. Further back. Way back. Before the fear. Here we go. We are going back. [Monk smiles] Is that a smile? Are you happy? [Monk nods] Adrian, where are you? Where are you?
Quote from Adrian Monk
Lieutenant Disher: We're going to have to search all of these, with your permission, of course.
Aaron Larkin: Yeah, sure, be my guest. Whatever you need. You might not believe this, but, I want my wife found as much as you do. I've got nothing to hide.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I think you do. I think you have plenty to hide. He's in love with her.
Emily Carter: What?
Adrian Monk: I bet they want to get married, and go on a honeymoon, and, you know, kiss.
Emily Carter: Who, who is this person?
Adrian Monk: Look at his face. He's turning all red. Just admit it. You want to marry her. It's all over town.
Emily Carter: What does that mean?
Aaron Larkin: It's all right, Emily. This is Adrian Monk. He's famous. He's the best detective in California. And yeah, it's true. Emily and I are involved. As a matter of fact, I was with Emily the night Sally disappeared.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, if that checks out, it looks like you have an alibi then.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why didn't you tell us before?
Aaron Larkin: Well, Captain, it's a little, complicated.
Emily Carter: I'm technically still married.
Aaron Larkin: We've been keeping it secret for three years, But you saw right through it in two minutes, Mr. Monk. Well done. I am curious, though, how did you... What gave us away?
Adrian Monk: Cinchy. I saw you drinking out of her water bottle without wiping it off. You weren't afraid of her cooties.
Emily Carter: My cooties.
Quote from Mr. Monk and the Daredevil
Natalie: Where are you going?
Adrian Monk: Bathroom.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why? [Monk is silent] I'll go with you.
Adrian Monk: I don't think so.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, let me go with you.
Natalie: We promised Dr. Kroger we wouldn't leave you alone.
Adrian Monk: I am not suicidal. I just wish I was never born. There's a difference.
Quote from Mr. Monk Is At Your Service
Natalie: Are you afraid of frogs?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. I've never been this close to one. [A frog lands on Monk's shoe] Yes. The answer is yes. Put frogs on the list. Where's the list?
Natalie: I got it. I got it. Where does it go?
Adrian Monk: Put them between possums and, uh, soccer riots. No, no, no. Uh, after after soccer riots. And before, uh, before hailstones. Yeah, so it goes...
Natalie: I got it, I got it: Soccer riots, frogs, hailstones.
Adrian Monk: At least now we know. Information really is power.