Lieutenant Disher Quote #365
Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk Gets Cabin Fever
Adrian Monk & Lieutenant Disher: [in unison] Oh, my God. I've got it. Here's what happened!
Lieutenant Disher: We didn't meet by accident.
Adrian Monk: She electrocuted him.
Lieutenant Disher: It was a set-up from the very beginning. Oh, I can see that now. God, I'm such an idiot!
Adrian Monk: She dropped the radio into the tub while he was bathing. She wanted to make it look like an act of God to collect the extra insurance.
Lieutenant Disher: Maybe I believed it because I wanted to believe it. All those fortunes were printed in advance, just for me!
Adrian Monk: She had to preserve the body until the storm came.
Natalie: That's why she bought those bags of ice.
Deputy Paul Coby: My head is spinning. Which one are you listening to?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Neither one.
Adrian Monk: She froze the body so the coroner would never know the time of death.
Lieutenant Disher: The first fortune predicted that I'd be saved from a dirty death which is exactly what happened when I left the restaurant.
Adrian Monk: Last night, during the storm, she put her husband in the boat, then cut it loose, waited a few hours, and then reported it as an accident.
Lieutenant Disher: Now I have to go back and arrest my girlfriend for conspiracy and attempted murder. She'll probably break up with me.
Features in the collection: Here's What Happened.
‘Here's What Happened’
Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk and the Actor
Lieutenant Disher: How you doin'? We were looking at this case all wrong. It wasn't a burglary. It was all about the wall. The whole time. Here's what happened. The killer was in here last Thursday night. This is where he met Michelle Cullman. They have an artist in here a few nights a week sketching the customers. He drew their picture right there on the wall. After the murder, the killer remembered the sketch. That sketch could hang him. It could prove that he was with the victim the night she died. And it would prove what he was wearing. The same shirt we found at the murder scene. He had to destroy that sketch. So he smashed through the wall and pretended it was part of a burglary. He just pretended to be breaking into a pawn shop. It was never about the pawnshop.
Female Cop: I know.
Lieutenant Disher: You know?
Female Cop: I was here ten minutes ago when Monk was explaining it to you.
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Gets Hypnotized
Lieutenant Disher: All right, well she told some paramedic that she loosened one of those baseboards. She pretended to be asleep. When he came back to check on her. Bam. Side of the head. [Monk laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, do you have something you'd like to share with the rest of us?
Adrian Monk: I can see his butt.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, the man is dead.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, of embarrassment! Sorry. I've got it. Here's what happened. Tuesday night, Larkin abducted his wife from that parking lot. He overpowered her. Maybe he drugged her. Then, he brought her up here. He kept her prisoner. For three days, he taunted her. He humiliated her. Something about some jewelry. He- He even refused to feed her. But last night he went a little too far. In all the excitement, his pants fell down. He killed himself. He didn't have a choice. She'd seen his hiney. [laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think we're done here.
‘Mr. Monk Gets Cabin Fever’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, are you sure? I mean, are you really sure? And don't give me any of that 95% crap.
Adrian Monk: Captain, I am 100% sure that she probably killed him.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What does that mean?
Adrian Monk: 95%.
Quote from Natalie
Natalie: Okay, can I say something? I'm freaking out back here.
Adrian Monk: Why?
Natalie: Everywhere you go, every time you turn around, somebody is killing somebody else.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's true.
Adrian Monk: What?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, there was the time you went on vacation, and then on the airplane...
Adrian Monk: These things happen.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, and then that that stage play.
Adrian Monk: It happens.
Natalie: To you! Not to me, not to anybody else. It follows you around. You're not just unlucky, it's... It's something else.
Adrian Monk: Bad karma?
Natalie: You're like a magnet.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Bad karma.
Natalie: It's like you're causing it somehow. You're the Prince of Darkness.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, no. He's not the Prince of Darkness. I've seen him vacuum the ceiling. You wouldn't see the Prince of Darkness vacuuming the ceiling.
Natalie: I can picture the Prince of Darkness vacuuming the ceiling to trick us. He's very tricky.
Adrian Monk: Stop calling me the Prince of Darkness. That's how rumors get started.
Quote from Natalie
Natalie: I get it now.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Get what?
Natalie: It's not bad karma, people getting killed whenever he's around. It's good karma, because he's there to catch 'em and make it right. It's a good thing, isn't it?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes, it is. It's a good thing.
Natalie: [to Monk] Come on. I'll buy you a wipe.