Adrian Monk: Um... Hmm. The mole... The mole.
Sketch Artist: What about it?
Adrian Monk: The mole on the ear, it, uh, it was darker.
Sketch Artist: Like that?
Adrian Monk: No, it's too dark.
Sketch Artist: Too dark. Mr. Monk, it doesn't need to be perfect, all right? It's, it's just a sketch. We've been here for over an hour and a half. Okay? I, I think we're done with the ear, huh?
Adrian Monk: Okay, not quite.

Street Preacher: And few there be that find it. Praise the lord. A cleansing is coming. There will be a reckoning. A cleansing is coming. Who would like to see a cleansing?
Adrian Monk: I would, I would.

Lieutenant Disher: We're going to be late.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Is that a new watch? Did you buy it in a store?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah. I bought it near a store. I mean, this one keeps perfect time. Swiss accuracy.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Your watch is smoking.
Lieutenant Disher: What?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Your watch is on fire.

Sharona: I guess you've completely given up on trying to be cool, huh?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, pretty much. Wow, this place is amazing. Look at these buildings. Look, look at that one. How did they build that?
Sharona: Actually, they built that one from the top down.
Lieutenant Disher: Really? Wow. Wow.
Sharona: Better stick with me. This town's going to eat you alive.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Where'd he go?
Cab Driver: Who?
Captain Stottlemeyer: The, the man, the other man. The man in the front seat.
Cab Driver: The nut?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, the nut. Where'd he go?
Cab Driver: What was he complaining about? My taxi is very clean. Why was he wiping, wiping, wiping everything?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Look, sir, your taxi is perfect, but where did he go?
Cab Driver: Look, I don't care. I'll never pick him up again. You tell him that. I see him, I'll keep driving. I don't care if I lose my license. Hey, I'll keep driving.

Sharona: Adrian! Adrian! Adrian, you can't just walk away like that. You scared me half to death.
Adrian Monk: Somebody dropped this.
Sharona: You're going to have to forget about that. There is no way that you're going to be able to clean up New York City by yourself. Trust me. New York City wins. It's always going to win.
Adrian Monk: It's so noisy.
Sharona: So is San Francisco.
Adrian Monk: No, this, this is different. I can't do this. I can't really function here. It's, this is too much, too much.

Sharona: Adrian, listen to me. Don't forget why you're here, all right? You have a lead, a name. Finally, after all these years, you know?
Adrian Monk: Warrick Tennyson.
Sharona: That's right, Warrick Tennyson. And he is connected somehow to Trudy's murder.
Adrian Monk: But why does he have to live here?
Sharona: I don't know. When you find him, that can be the first thing you ask him.
Adrian Monk: It won't be the first thing I ask him.

Sharona: I could get used to this place.
Lieutenant Disher: Do you think they have cable?
Sharona: Of course they have cable.
Lieutenant Disher: Can we afford this?
Sharona: Well, we didn't have a choice. Adrian booked the reservation. It's rated the cleanest hotel in New York.

Adrian Monk: Hello, I'm Adrian Monk. Party of four.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Not much of a party, really.
Hotel Clerk: Here we are, Monk. You have three rooms.
Lieutenant Disher: Oh, three rooms.
Adrian Monk: Well, me and Sharona.
Sharona: Wait, wait. I, I thought I was getting my own room.
Adrian Monk: Look, well, I'd rather not be by myself. Me and the captain.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. No, no. Sharing the cab was bad enough.
Sharona: Well, why don't we just get a fourth room?
Hotel Clerk: Sorry, we're completely booked.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, uh, how about me and Sharona?
Sharona: In your dreams.

Adrian Monk: Okay, well, uh, whoever gets me, I, I just have to let you know I'm going to need the bathroom all to myself, so...
Sharona: Um, Adrian, Adrian, um, do you mind if you just guard the luggage over there?
Adrian Monk: Hmm?
Sharona: Just guard the luggage. And I think they're uneven.
Adrian Monk: Oh. Totally uneven.