Waiter: Is there a problem, Mr. DePalma?
Adrian Monk: No. It's just yesterday you seemed more appreciative.
Adrian Monk: How appreciative was I?
Waiter: $20.
Adrian Monk: For what? Fine. Fine. Okay, here is 20. Uh, you gonna give me that 50 cents back?

Lola: You're not even drinking it.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, I'm trying to cut down.
Lola: Well, I hope you're not giving up all your vices. [tries to kiss him] Is there a problem?
Adrian Monk: I have a girlfriend.
Lola: You have a girlfriend? Well, as I recall, that's never been a problem for you in the past.
Adrian Monk: Here's the thing. We're sort of going steady.
Lola: Steady? Well, I think that's sweet.
Adrian Monk: She's here.
Lola: Here in the room?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, no. She's here in Los Angeles. I mean, she could come in any minute. She might want to kiss me too. She's pretty. We kiss all the time.
Lola: What was her name?
Adrian Monk: Natalie Teegerb.
Lola: Teegerb?
Adrian Monk: With a "B" on the end. It's Canadian. It's French Canadian.

Adrian Monk: It's so loud.
Natalie: I like it. You want to dance, Frankie?
Adrian Monk: Frankie don't dance. Neither do I.
Adrian Monk: I can't do this. I'm not a tough guy. Who am I fooling?
Natalie: You're fooling everybody. You're doing great. I've been listening to you all day. If I didn't know you, I wouldn't even know you.

Charlie: Help you?
Adrian Monk: I hope so. Can you turn the music down just a little?
Charlie: You gotta be kidding me, buddy. This is a dance club. You don't like the music, take a hike.
Adrian Monk: Okay, sorry.
Natalie: We're looking for Jimmy Barlowe.
Charlie: Never heard of him.
Natalie: What about his friend Lola? All right, if you see 'em, tell 'em Frankie DePalma's looking for 'em.
Charlie: Mr. DePalma? I had no idea. I'm new here. My name's Charlie. [offers hand] Let me turn the music down. Is that okay?
Natalie: What do you think?
Charlie: I could turn it off. You're right. It's much better this way. Good call.

Man: Hey, what happened? Who turned it off?
Adrian Monk: It was hurting my ears.
Man: Who the hell are you?
Charlie: Whoa, that's Frankie DePalma, Jake.
Man: Oh, hell, Frankie. Mr. DePalma, I had no idea. I'm really sorry. Here, let me buy you a drink. It won't happen again. I'm really, really sorry.
Natalie: Hey, relax. Walk it off. Give Frankie a chance to cool down.

Jimmy Barlowe: This is my nephew, Lenny. And of course you already know Tony G. We haven't seen each other since Miami. It must have been, what, three, four years?
Adrian Monk: Sounds about right.
Lenny Barlowe: So how is Fat Gordy?
Adrian Monk: Still fat. He got fatter. Actually he's thinking about changing his name to "Fatter Gordy."

Adrian Monk: So this Greenblatt guy, what'd he do?
Jimmy Barlowe: Lola said you didn't ask any questions.
Adrian Monk: Why would she say that?
Lenny Barlowe: That's another question. Look, my uncle says do it, you put this old guy down. Okay, that's the job. That's all you need to know.

Agent Stone: It doesn't make sense. This guy's a nobody. Stanley Greenblatt, 75 years old. It's his birthday today, actually. He's a retired UPS driver. He lives alone. He's a widower. He's got one son, one daughter. Son died last year.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And?
Agent Stone: And nothing. Guy's never been arrested. There's no mob connection whatsoever. I mean, As far as we know, he's never even met Jimmy Barlowe.
Lieutenant Disher: So then why does Barlowe want him dead?
Captain Stottlemeyer: And why would he pay somebody 80 grand to do it?
Natalie: Maybe it's an insurance scam.
Agent Stone: Doesn't track. The guy's not insured by anyone for anything. He's broke, living on a fixed income.
Agent Stone: Jimmy B never said anything about why he wanted him killed?
Adrian Monk: No.

Natalie: Agent Stone, can we go home now? Mr. Monk did everything you said. It's been really hard on him. He has trouble enough being himself.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, that's it. We're pulling the plug. This operation is over.
Agent Stone: Yeah, I think you're right.
Adrian Monk: What? What are you talking about? I'm not quitting now. Why should I? I'm in the zone. I'm Frankie DePalma.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, you're not. Monk, you're in too deep. I've seen it happen before. Even real cops, when they go undercover, they get their wires crossed.
Adrian Monk: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean, "even real cops"?
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's not what I meant to say.