Adrian Monk: Who was that?
Sharona: None of your business.
Adrian Monk: Well, can I take a wild guess?
Sharona: You never take wild guesses.
Adrian Monk: Was it the guy you met last week at the party Justin?
Sharona: Maybe.
Adrian Monk: When do I get to meet him?
Sharona: Never, 'cause you ruin everything.
Adrian Monk: I'm protecting you.
Sharona: Adrian, you're not my mother. Look, I checked him out on the Internet. He's an architect who's won awards. He's the real deal.
Adrian Monk: So let me meet him.
Sharona: We'll invite you to our tenth anniversary, okay? Now, will you pay attention? There's a dead guy over here.

Lieutenant Disher: Monk.
Sharona: Where's the captain?
Lieutenant Disher: He's getting an X ray. He was in an accident.
Adrian Monk: Is he okay?
Lieutenant Disher: He fell off his motorcycle. That's all I know. Until he gets back, I'm in charge.
Sharona: Oh, my God.
Lieutenant Disher: I'm so glad you're here.

Lieutenant Disher: Monk, listen. This is big. In fact, this could be the big one. We have a suspect inside. It's Willie Nelson.
Adrian Monk: The Red-headed Stranger?
Lieutenant Disher: The press hasn't got wind of it yet, so just...
Adrian Monk: Can l- Can l- Can I talk to him?
Sharona: You like Willie Nelson?
Adrian Monk: Are you surprised?
Sharona: Well, yeah. It's just so so normal.

Lieutenant Disher: Now, Mr. Nelson, you admit that you and Mr. Cross were arguing yesterday?
Willie Nelson: We argue all the time.
Lieutenant Disher: About what?
Willie Nelson: Only two things to argue about, and money is one of 'em.

Lieutenant Disher: Mr. Monk isn't on the force. He's here as a consultant at my request.
Adrian Monk: First of all, I just wanna say I'm-I'm your second biggest fan.
Willie Nelson: Well, who's the first?
Adrian Monk: Uh, that-that'd be my wife. I lost her about five years ago.
Willie Nelson: I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: No, I just wanted to tell you how much your music has meant to me and to my wife.
Sharona: Adrian, this isn't a fan club. Just ask your question.

Naked Man: Whoo-hoo. Whoo!
Captain Stottlemeyer: What the hell was that?
Lieutenant Disher: That was a streaker, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is this, 1974?

Sharona: Adrian. Adrian, you're gonna have a heart attack.
Adrian Monk: I can't believe he called me. Willie Nelson called me.
Sharona: Okay, will you just relax? He's just... Adrian, he's just a regular guy who happens to sing and play guitar.
Adrian Monk: No, he's not! You take that back.

Adrian Monk: Okay, now he's gonna block the street. We're gonna miss him now. Excuse me! This is not a bus stop!
Sharona: Adrian, please! Please!
Adrian Monk: I'm waiting for Willie!
Sharona: He's not blocking the road.
Willie Nelson: [bus door opens] Hello, Mr. Monk. Sorry we're late. Come on in.

Adrian Monk: Willie, uh, if you wouldn't mind.
Willie Nelson: Where in the world did you get that? I haven't seen that one in a long time.
Adrian Monk: I have 'em all. And if you could just if you could make it out to Trudy.
Willie Nelson: Sure.
Adrian Monk: She worshiped you. On our first date, we went to see one of your shows. It was the Shoreline Amphitheater.
Willie Nelson: Yeah, I remember y'all. You were sittin' on this blue blanket.
Adrian Monk: Really?
Willie Nelson: No, I'm just kiddin'.
Adrian Monk: Oh, he's... Willie's jokin'.

Adrian Monk: He sat in for three songs on that album. I believe that was the first time you used a stand-up bass in the studio.
Willie Nelson: You know more about me than I do.
Sharona: He knows more about everybody than they do.