Roderick Brody: Listen, Adrian, I gotta be honest. I've heard stories. I heard you went a little crazy since we graduated. Now I just need to know, is it funny crazy or sad crazy?
Natalie: Funny crazy.
Adrian Monk: Sad crazy. Excuse me. There's something that I have to say. "Roderick Brody, you stole something from me. You stole my childhood. The boy that you tormented has grown into a broken man. I am now damaged goods. I will never recover from the wounds that you inflicted on me. I will never forget you. And I will never forgive you."
Roderick Brody: So it's sad crazy.

Natalie: What was that about?
Adrian Monk: She's cheating on him.
Natalie: We don't know that.
Adrian Monk: Of course we do. It has to be true. It's always true. And I get to tell him, Natalie. This is gonna kill him!
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you can't enjoying this.
Adrian Monk: I am loving it. Look, it's a beautiful day. I think the sun's coming out. Oh, my God. This is better than a swirly. I win. Do you understand? After 40 years, I win.

Adrian Monk: That way.
Natalie: Why that way?
Adrian Monk: I feel lucky! Isn't this a great case? Isn't this the best case ever?
Natalie: I've never seen you like this.
Adrian Monk: I never knew revenge could be so sweet. And you know what makes it even sweeter? Give up? Roderick Brody is paying for it. He is footing the bill for his own comeuppance. And that is the best kind of comeuppance there is. Excuse me, kind sir. Have you seen this woman? She's cheating on a guy who used to put my head in a toilet bowl. Isn't that great?

Adrian Monk: His name is Douglas Fendle. Do you know him?
Roderick Brody: Fendle? No.
Adrian Monk: Are you sure? Young, strapping, good-looking guy. Virile. You don't know him?
Natalie: She met him at a bar on Vinton Street, had a couple of drinks, and he left first.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, the virile guy left first. We followed him to the Avalon hotel on Jackson place.
Natalie: Roderick, I'm really sorry.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, we're really, really sorry.
Roderick Brody: I don't see anything. This is so dark.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, well that film expired about 35-40 years ago. But that's her. If you want to cry, go ahead. We understand.

Adrian Monk: All right, how about this? I'll keep digging. I'll get a better camera. I'll get a digital computer camera. So there won't be any doubt.

Natalie: Yeah, look, Mr. Monk, I have to tell you something. I made a decision. If you want to keep following Mrs.
Brody, I suppose that's your right. Although it really isn't. But I can't help you anymore.
Adrian Monk: Why not?
Natalie: I'm just not comfortable. Her husband fired us.
Adrian Monk: It's what they call pro bono.
Natalie: No, pro bono is for lawyers. This is stalking.
Adrian Monk: No, this is comeuppance. Pro bono comeuppance.
Natalie: No, that is just crazy talk.
Adrian Monk: It's not crazy talk.
Natalie: Pro bono comeuppance? It's craziest talk there is. You heard what he said. He wants you to quit.
Adrian Monk: I wanted him to quit! I begged him to quit 40 years ago in stall number three.

Lieutenant Disher: His name is Douglas J. Fendle. Or, rather it was Douglas J. Fendle. I guess still is. But doesn't matter. Let's move on.

Natalie: Let me talk to you for a minute please. Do you think Roderick Brody did this? Well, he said he didn't believe us.
Adrian Monk: Apparently he reconsidered.
Natalie: Well, that's horrible. A man is dead.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, I know. And that's a murder in the first degree. And you know what that means? Prison swirlies. Prison swirlies. You don't even want to know about prison swirlies. They're not even technically real swirlies. You were right about karma. It is fantastic.

Adrian Monk: We've been following him.
Natalie: Right.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You were following him? I wonder why.
Adrian Monk: Well, he was seeing a woman. A married woman. And we're following her.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You were following the woman. I wonder why.
Natalie: Her husband hired us.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Until you hear different, I wonder why?

Captain Stottlemeyer: What? What are you doing? You're doing divorce work now?
Natalie: No, he was just doing a favor. He was an old friend of Mr. Monk's.
Adrian Monk: Wouldn't exactly say he was a friend. More of an acquaintance actually. He beat me up every week for three years.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And that would explain the stupid grin on your face. You think you're getting even.
Adrian Monk: I know I'm getting even.