Warren Beach: So, as a first-time flyer, you are sitting next to the right person! Look at that. That is the million-mile pin! I'm in sales. I fly two, three times a week, never had an accident.
Sharona: You see?
Warren Beach: Except last January, in San Diego. We overshot the runway. We had to ditch into the ocean. You know, those brochures are not always so accurate. In real life, people are fighting over the life preservers. And you know how they say your cushion floats? Not all of them do. I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Little Girl: You sure complain a lot.
Adrian Monk: Thank you.
Little Girl: You know what I think your name is? Mr. "Complain-ey."
Warren Beach: [chuckles] Kid's got your number.

Little Girl: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?
Adrian Monk: [pained] Repeat.
Little Girl: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?
Adrian Monk: ... Repeat.
Little Girl: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?
Adrian Monk: Repeat.
Little Girl: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left? [Monk looks to Warren]
Warren Beach: Repeat.
Adrian Monk: Thank you.
Little Girl: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left? [Monk starts pressing the assistance button]
Little Girl: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?
Adrian Monk: Repeat.
Leigh: Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: Oh, thank God. Will you help me? She is relentless.

Warren Beach: Where's your friend? I want to show you something.
Adrian Monk: Oh, she's, uh... She's in the bathroom.
Warren Beach: No, she's not. It says, "Unoccupied."
Adrian Monk: Uh... Hope she didn't leave.
Warren Beach: How far could she go? It's an airplane. Listen, Adrian. You're a man of the world. I think you would appreciate this. See what I got in my hands, here? This is the longest tri-prong, tri-outlet cord ever made domestically.
Adrian Monk: Uh-huh.
Warren Beach: It's 18 feet here. We call it, "The Anaconda." It's got a hook. This is a special feature, the hook. Here. Just watch it. You don't even need to listen. There. Look at how good it hooks. Bingo!

Adrian Monk: Excuse me. She's not allowed up here, is she?
Leigh: I'm sorry, ma'am. You have to go back to coach.
Tim Daly: You tattled on her? I can't believe it! You're a freakin' tattletale.
Adrian Monk: He called me a freakin' tattletale. [Leigh gestures for Monk to leave first class]

Adrian Monk: Did you hear that?
Sharona: What?
Adrian Monk: She forgot she was a vegetarian? Who forgets they're vegetarian? It's like forgetting you're a Republican. Something's going on here. I'm gonna call Captain Stottlemeyer as soon as we land.
Warren Beach: Why don't you call him now? That's a phone.

Lieutenant Disher: [on the phone] Are you really up there in an airplane?
Adrian Monk: It's better than being up here not in an airplane.

Adrian Monk: Sharona, wake up. Wake up! Wake up. He spilled his wine. It's staining. I can feel it.
Sharona: Stain remover. Add water and rub it in.
Adrian Monk: Would you do it? I- If you did it, then I wouldn't have to do it.

Sharona: You can't make this movie.
Tim Daly: I can't?
Sharona: No, no. I won't let you. This character, Glenn, kills people.
Tim Daly: Well, yeah. He's a hit man.
Sharona: Okay. Look. On page 57, he chops off a guy's foot. You can't chop off a guy's foot. You're Tim Daly, you're a nice guy, and that's why we love you.
Tim Daly: I just thought it would be a good change of pace.
Sharona: Okay, look. All I know is that if I go to a movie and I see you chopping off a guy's foot, I'm gonna want my money back.
Tim Daly: You know what? You're right. I'm gonna pass. I'm gonna call my agent right now and leave a message.
Sharona: Really? Because of me?
Tim Daly: You're my guardian angel.

Adrian Monk: It doesn't reach.
Warren Beach: Call Warren Beach. May I suggest the Anaconda? I'll need it back. It's the prototype.