Sharona: I am telling you, it's gonna be fine. It's the safest way to travel.
Adrian Monk: I know. Statistically, it's very safe. But here's my problem: You see that plane taking off? I know it happens 10,000 times a day, but it's really it's really not possible, is it, when you really I mean, how can they fly? They're made of metal. They weigh 200 tons. Plus, now you're adding all the magazines...

Warren Beach: That's pretty sharp. You ought to be a detective.
Sharona: Oh, he is a detective. That's why he notices little things like that.
Warren Beach: "Noticing little things"? Basically, that's all a salesman does. Listen, if you ever need a job, call me.
Adrian Monk: "Extension cords"?
Warren Beach: The largest distributor of extension cords in the world. We have 65% of the domestic market. We make three-footers, six-footers, nine-footers, that's our big seller. It's 50% longer than the six-footer.
Adrian Monk: That's right. That's all you sell.
Warren Beach: I'm fulfilled. I mean, everybody takes extension cords for granted. But just try to imagine how the world would be without them.
Adrian Monk: I guess all the furniture would be a lot closer to the walls.
Warren Beach: Exactly. "If it doesn't reach, call Warren Beach."

Leigh: Welcome to Nationwide Airways Flight 635 nonstop to Newark, New Jersey. In the unlikely event of loss of cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will drop automatically from the overhead compartment.
Adrian Monk: I'm sorry. You were talking so fast. Th-The overhead what, what, what?
Leigh: Compartment. Simply place the mask over your nose and mouth and breathe normally.
Adrian Monk: Could you just say that little part again? I couldn't see.
Leigh: "simply place the mask over your nose and mouth and breathe normally."
Adrian Monk: Maybe we should test them.
Leigh: We don't need to test them.
Adrian Monk: But how do we know that they're working?
Leigh: They all work, okay? There are four exits in the aircraft. Two in the for...
Adrian Monk: [to woman behind] Excuse me. Excuse me. Uh, shh! "Two in the forward section," go on.
Leigh: And one over each wing. In the event of an evacuation, we are asking passengers seated nearest to the exits...
Adrian Monk: I'm so sorry. How can we be sure that we have the best people sitting near the exits?
Leigh: If you don't think that the cabin is safe, perhaps you'd be more comfortable flying downstairs in the cargo bay? [passengers applaud]
Warren Beach: She got ya, Adrian.

Warren Beach: How do you feel now?
Adrian Monk: I feel better.
Warren Beach: Good. Forget your problems. Go to a happy place. Go to SeaWorld.
Adrian Monk: I don't like crowds.
Warren Beach: It's closed! It's a holiday. You're there alone. Easy. There was no murder, was there?
Adrian Monk: No.
Warren Beach: There are no killers aboard.
Adrian Monk: No killers.

Warren Beach: Well, this is a flight I'll never forget although I'll sure try to. Adrian, I've been thinking over your theory about the French couple, and I've come to a conclusion. I'd like my card back. Thank you. Bye!

Sharona: Adrian. Undo your pockets and put your stuff in here.
TSA Agent: You didn't have to put them in Baggies, sir.
Sharona: No, he did.

TSA Agent: Nail clippers. You can't bring these on board.
Adrian Monk: Sorry. So, she can't fly. Is that what you're saying? We have to stay here.
TSA Agent: No, we have to confiscate them.
Adrian Monk: You sure you wanna go without your nail clippers?
Sharona: I'll buy new ones when we get there.
Adrian Monk: They may not have that exact model.
Sharona: Ah, I don't care.

Leigh: Mr. Monk! It's nice to have you with us.
Adrian Monk: [nervous chuckle]
Sharona: Oh, he's just a little nervous.
Leigh: There's nothing to be nervous about. [tries to take Monk's ticket] You're gonna have to let go of that ticket.
Adrian Monk: Okay. Wait. Okay, take it. Take it. Quick. Quick.
Leigh: [to her colleague] Trouble ahead.
Male Attendant: Oh, yeah.

Warren Beach: Good choice. So, business or pleasure?
Adrian Monk: Uh, w-we're going to visit her aunt in New Jersey, so... Neither.
Warren Beach: I'm Warren Beach. "Beach," like Coney Island.
Adrian Monk: Oh. Adrian Monk.
Warren Beach: Hi, Adrian. [shakes Monk's hand] How are you? [Sharona hands Monk a wipe] What's the matter? I'm not sick.
Sharona: No, he is.

Adrian Monk: What is that?
Sharona: Oh, um, that's a diagram. It shows you what to do in case there's an emergency.
Adrian Monk: How much time do we have to study this?
Sharona: [chuckles] Oh, he's not exactly a frequent flyer, you know.