Sharona: Oh, my God, that is Tim Daly! I love him!
Adrian Monk: What is he, some kind of actor?
Sharona: Yeah. Yeah. He was on that show, Wings.
Adrian Monk: Never saw it. Was it good?
Sharona: Well, he was.

Sharona: Now, do you want the aisle or the middle?
Adrian Monk: Okay. I'll take the... Aisle.
Sharona: You sure?
Adrian Monk: Aisle. Aisle. Middle. Middle. Oh, middle. Aisle! Aisle! I'm just gonna wait. Aisle. Middle.
Warren Beach: Mister. Mister. Take this one. I won't mind.
Sharona: Oh, no, no, no. Please don't offer him a third choice. His head will explode.

Sharona: Okay. I got good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?
Adrian Monk: Neither.
Sharona: Well, you gotta pick one.
Adrian Monk: I don't want to. If you tell me the good news first, I won't enjoy it, because I'll be worrying about the bad news, which is coming next. But if you tell me the bad news first, I won't get a chance to enjoy the good news, because I know...

Leigh: Let me guess. First time on a plane?
Adrian Monk: Oh, no, no. I've been on a plane before.
Leigh: Where'd you go?
Adrian Monk: Well, uh... Didn't actually go anywhere. Before we took off, I was crying so much, they asked my mother and me to leave the plane.
Sharona: Tell her how old you were.
Adrian Monk: I was, uh, 27.

[Monk repeatedly presses the assistance button]
Leigh: We meet again.
Adrian Monk: Excuse me, that woman back there is coughing and coughing. She's not covering her mouth.
Leigh: I'm not her mother.
Adrian Monk: I know, it's the air. It's all recirculating, and it feels like she's coughing right on me.
Leigh: We have a special supply of fresh air up front. I'm not supposed to do this, but I'm gonna have the captain pipe it directly into your blower. Okay?
Adrian Monk: Okay.
Leigh: Ah, don't tell anybody else.
Sharona: Thank you.
Adrian Monk: She was patronizing me, wasn't she?

Sharona: Is that a new script?
Tim Daly: Yeah. I can't decide whether or not to do it.
Sharona: Hit Man's Diary. Hmm. If you do it, are you gonna shave your goatee?
Tim Daly: Why?
Sharona: Well, it's-it's just something that I notice. Um, when you're clean-shaven, whatever you're in is a big hit.
Tim Daly: Really?
Sharona: Mm-hmm. Well, think about it. You got Diner, Wings, Earth to the Moon, they were huge.
Tim Daly: That's true. And I got an agent, a lawyer and a manager, and they never noticed that.
Sharona: And when you had a mustache in Year of the Comet, it...
Tim Daly: Bombed.

Warren Beach: You really think he killed his wife?
Sharona: He always thinks people are killing each other.
Adrian Monk: That's true. And I'll tell you why. Because they are.

Little Girl: Do you like riddles?
Adrian Monk: Oh, yes.
Little Girl: Good. 'Cause I have one.
Adrian Monk: Did I say yes? I meant no.
Little Girl: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?
Adrian Monk: Repeat.
Little Girl: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?
Adrian Monk: Repeat.
Little Girl: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?
Adrian Monk: ... Repeat.
Little Girl: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?

Adrian Monk: What time does she get in?
Sharona: Any minute. We have to hurry.
Adrian Monk: All right. I finally get to meet the famous Aunt Minn.
Sharona: Yep.
Adrian Monk: Have you told her about me?
Sharona: I think your name's come up once or twice.
Adrian Monk: What did you say?
Sharona: I told her the truth. Sorry.

Ticket Clerk: I can assure you, Mr. Monk, this particular aircraft has an excellent safety record.
Adrian Monk: Could I see it?
Sharona: Adrian. He doesn't have the safety record with him.
Adrian Monk: How long would it take you to get a copy?
Woman: Now he wants to see the safety record. Ugh! He's gonna sit right next to me. I know it.
Adrian Monk: And the last time the plane was disinfected was when, would you say?