‘Strangers in the Night’
Season 6, Episode 9 - Aired December 3, 2014
After Alex tells her parents she has a boyfriend, who they never seem to catch, they start to believe she has made him up. Gloria agrees to attend a dog birthday party after Jay agrees a picnic for a group of Colombians who are receiving their green cards, but Jay has a plan to get out of his side of the bargain. Mitchell and Cameron take great care to keep their luxury white couch in pristine condition, but they didn't plan on playing host to Mitchell's distressed co-worker.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: [aside to camera] An Edgar Vanderkoff hand-crafted blanc de blanc sofa. It was a wedding gift to ourselves.
Mitchell: Plus, we're showing Lily that we trust her enough to let us have one nice thing.
Cameron: When you think about it like that, it's really a gift for Lily.
Mitchell: That's why we got her the couch.
Cameron: To teach her about respect.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Okay, whoa. We only get on this couch when we know we're not dirty. Legs a little wider please. Is that a cookie in your back pocket?
Lily: Yep.
Cameron: Okay. Bup-up-up! Hey, nice and slow.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: How is this for the party? It's my first time meeting your dog-park friends.
Jay: Fantastic, but be careful, some of these guys are single in the group.
Gloria: What a surprise.
Quote from Gloria
Joe: Zooboo!
Manny: No, you've already watched "Zooboo" six times today. We're gonna watch a classic movie right here on the big screen.
Gloria: You better let him watch his show. If not, he's gonna freak out. Yesterday I turned it off, and he bit through one of the pool balls.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: [on the phone] Hey, Cam. So, listen, you remember my- my new friend at work Brenda, right?
Cameron: Who?
Mitchell: That's right, the pretty one. Uh, so, she and her husband are- are going through some problems at home, and she was wondering if she might be able to stay at our house.
Cameron: Oh, my gosh. Yes, of course.
Mitchell: Oh, shoot and darn it! I thought we had something.
Cameron: Mitchell, I know what you're doing.
Mitchell: Ahh, there's no way we can reschedule, huh?
Cameron: Fight your instincts. This is a chance for you to show some real compassion.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: [on the phone] I am being nice! Okay? I-I-I I talked to her. I- I asked her if there was anything I could do to help. But I- I didn't mean it. Nobody ever means it.
Cameron: Mitchell, you want this growth in your life. That's why you asked her. You're just scared.
Mitchell: No, no, it was a completely hollow offer and- Yeah, that- That's right. Okay, George and Wendy Hollowoffer. Dinner at 7:30. Okay, bye-bye.
Cameron: You need this, and I need something nice to write about you in our Christmas letter.
Mitchell: I love you, too. Goodbye.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: Is this for dogs or for people?
Jay: I hope it's for people. I've had four of them. Are you having fun?
Gloria: Ay, yes. Before today, I had never seen a gravy fountain.
Quote from Gloria
Jay: Listen. I-I know you're not a dog person.
Gloria: No, I'm okay with the dogs. I'm just not a dog-person person. You said that this party was going to be normal.
Jay: It's just fun.
Gloria: There's a buffet and an open bar for dogs. My cousin got married on a raft. I tried to play along, Jay, but-- but this is crazy. I have to go home.
Quote from Mitchell
Brenda: Who loves a thing more than a person?
Mitchell: A monster.
Cameron: Have we shown you our shed?
Mitchell: There's a shed.
Brenda: He knew what he was getting into when he married me. I'm a little messy. Well, guess what, Doug! Life's a little messy. Okay, my sinuses leak, my- my ears run, and I have hyperactive sweat glands, but... You know what? I do need a refill.
Mitchell: Yeah. Well, I'm not surprised. She's losing a lot of fluids.
Quote from Alex
Phil: So, honey, we've been talking, and we want to meet your boyfriend.
Alex: You just missed him.
Claire: He was here?
Alex: He just left. This is his cup.
Claire: Oh, look at that. Oh, it looks like "Alex."
Alex: His name is Alec. The "C" just got smudged.
Claire: Honey, his name is Alec. But the "C" got smudged.