‘Slow Down Your Neighbors’
Season 2, Episode 11 - Aired January 5, 2011
Phil is caught in the middle when Claire tries to stop a neighbor from speeding around the neighborhood. Mitchell and Cameron meet a charming new neighbor. Meanwhile, Jay teaches Manny how to ride a bike, but Gloria proves a more difficult student.
Quote from Luke
Luke: I could teach you.
Gloria: Really?
Luke: Sure. I'm a great bike rider. I've taught a bunch of my friends.
[aside to camera:]
Luke: I never taught anyone anything. But my playdate canceled, so I was wide open.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: [aside to camera] It was the greatest feeling in the world. Luke was right. There was nothing to be afraid of. Ay.
Claire: Get off the bike!
Gloria: Ay! Don't grab me!
Claire: Give it to me.
Gloria: No, no. Don't grab me.
Claire: Go, go, go, go, go, go! Laces, mirror, bell. Slow down, jerk!
Quote from Phil
Phil: Listen, I was thinking about those signs.
Laura: "Slow down your neighbors."
Phil: Actually, I think they meant "Slow down," talking to you. Who's talking? "Your neighbors."
Quote from Cameron
Barry: So I looked that coyote dead in the eye and I let him know, without saying a word "I will not harm you but I'm the alpha here." And he just stared back at me, mesmerized.
Mitchell: Whoa.
Cameron: Amazing.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: Turns out Barry just moved into the apartment upstairs and thought the hot tub was for the whole building. Anyway, he's a super cool guy and he's straight, so there's no weirdness.
Mitchell: Aside from you turning into a 16-year-old girl.
Cameron: I did not. [giggles]
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: What you doing?
Barry: Oh, I'm studying to be a Reiki master. What I'm doing is I'm transferring my positive energy into Cameron and I'm taking out all the negative energy.
Cameron: Okay.
Barry: Do you feel that?
Cameron: I do.
Barry: Does it feel warm?
Cameron: It does. It feels warm, Mitchell.
Mitchell: Imagine that, in a hot tub.
Quote from Claire
Phil: What are you guys doing?
Luke: What the cops won't.
Claire: We are catching that speeder. And when we do, he's gonna get an earful of this. Slow down, jerk!
Quote from Phil
Phil: [phone rining] Sweet Valley High! This is that woman from the house on Seventh Street.
Claire: Ooh, good.
Phil: Yeah. If I sell it by the end of next month I dethrone Gil Thorpe as salesman of the quarter.
Quote from Phil
Claire: 2-U-R-N-8-0
Phil: Yeah. What's the address?
Claire: 2-U-R-N-8-0-1.
Phil: Yeah. Okay, 1-0-
Claire: A pen.
Luke: I gave it to Dad.
Phil: Okay, 101 North-
Claire: 2-U-R- Oh, God.
Phil: Seventh Street. Okay. 10-4. This is gonna be my best year since 2006.
Quote from Phil
Laura: Yeah, I got a thing in 10 minutes, so I have to make this quick.
Phil: Great. Let me run through my three-pronged approach to selling this place.
Laura: I only need one prong: sell the house. I don't want to be that yutz who prices her house too high so it sits around for a year while every looky-loo without something to do on Sundays is going through my underwear drawer. What's a number?
Phil: There are quite a few factors to take into-
Laura: Need a number.
Phil: We list at 1.4. We take anything north of 1.25.
Laura: Done!
Quote from Phil
Phil: So, uh, Sunday, 12:00 to 4:00 for the open house? That works for you?
Laura: Great.
Phil: Great. And if you have any questions or you need anything, just call. When you work with me, you're working with a friend.
Laura: That is so sweet. I like you. God, I hope I don't have to fire you.