‘Halloween 3: AwesomeLand’
Season 6, Episode 6 - Aired October 29, 2014
With Claire busy at work on her favorite holiday, Phil takes over the Halloween decorations and is determined to put his own happy spin on the festivities. Jay chooses his own costume after rejecting Gloria's couple's costume choice of Princess Fiona and Shrek. Meanwhile, Cameron feels his dedication to coaching is causing him to drop the ball on parenting Lily, and Mitchell is hoping to break a losing streak in the court room.
Quote from Haley
Haley: Now, when she said "joint Thanksgiving," do you think that she meant-
Alex: No.
Haley: Okay.
Quote from Phil
Boy: What are you supposed to be?
Alex: Born into another family.
Phil: She is Tess McGill, feminist heroine from the 1980s classic "Working girl". You should check it out sometime. In a few years. There is some light vacuuming in underpants.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Keep up the good work! How's it going here?
Luke: I look stupid! These puppies are making it impossible for me to stay mad at you. Stupid, adorable puppies.
Quote from Claire
Claire: I do not like being pigeonholed.
Alex: It's obvious, Mom, you use Halloween as a way to show people you have edge. It's like accountants who buy a Harley.
Claire: She's right. Being scary is my motorcycle.
Phil: That's my Tess.
Quote from Manny
Manny: I knew my farewell tour would be emotional, but at least I can say I did it my way.
Jay: You've said that four times. You know he had other songs?
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: Excuse me. Did you just ask that fake doctor about hair plugs?
Jay: No! You know how you struggle with the language.
Gloria: Jay.
Jay: Damn it, Gloria. I miss having a head full of hair. And don't act like you don't miss it, too.
Gloria: When we got married, you had four more hairs than you do now. This is not a surprise to me.
Quote from Gloria
Jay: What about today? Hmm? Earlier? When we were not napping? When you were a little extra-enthusiastic?
Gloria: Because you were enthusiastic. You went out and bought costumes for all of us, you were singing. For once, you were not like, "I don't want to do this. "I just want to sit at home, watch golf, and eat my 10-layer dip."
Jay: Just five. Five layers.
Gloria: One layer is enough, Jay. I loved that you were having fun with us. A happy husband, that's what is sexy to me.
Jay: So you don't think I look like Ben Franklin?
Gloria: Oh, yes! That's who it is! The man from the $100 bill! My favorite!
Quote from Mitchell
Boy: That's your costume? A big nose?
Mitchell: All right, you know, cool it. I've had a rough day. You think you're the first Spongebob I've seen?
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: [aside to camera] I got my win. Trials would be a whole lot easier if juries were made up of 7-year-old girls like Lily. And Cam.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: You know, they just make it impossible to find him. It's cruel and inappropriate. It just sets children up to fail, and it destroys their self-esteem.
Lily: Right there.
Cameron: Is he there? Is- Where- Where did she point? Where did she p-