‘Halloween 3: AwesomeLand’
Season 6, Episode 6 - Aired October 29, 2014
With Claire busy at work on her favorite holiday, Phil takes over the Halloween decorations and is determined to put his own happy spin on the festivities. Jay chooses his own costume after rejecting Gloria's couple's costume choice of Princess Fiona and Shrek. Meanwhile, Cameron feels his dedication to coaching is causing him to drop the ball on parenting Lily, and Mitchell is hoping to break a losing streak in the court room.
Quote from Claire
Amber: What is all this? Is this supposed to be funny?
Claire: No, it's supposed to be scary.
Phil: No, it's supposed to be awesome.
Amber: You know, I could tell that you guys didn't love us moving in next door. Maybe 'cause Ronnie deals pot or maybe 'cause of my confederate-flag bikini. I don't know, but -- but I thought we were becomin' friends. I was gonna propose a joint Thanksgivin', but this is really low.
Quote from Claire
Claire: What was that?
Ronnie: Amber gets touchy about this stuff. Uh, she- She spent six months in a cuckoo farm in Nevada. I'm sorry. She gets mad when I say that. It was in Utah.
Claire: Oh, my God.
Quote from Phil
Claire: You lied just to make me feel bad?
Ronnie: No, no. We lied so that we could win with our zombie house o' whores!
Claire: That is so messed up.
Phil: Did you say "whores," or...
Amber: No, no. It ain't messed up. The saying is "trick or treat. " This is the trick part.
Ronnie: Our yard's full o' dead whores. You got a Santa.
Phil: Yep. "Whores." I heard it again. Why are we not talking about this?