‘Halloween 3: AwesomeLand’
Season 6, Episode 6 - Aired October 29, 2014
With Claire busy at work on her favorite holiday, Phil takes over the Halloween decorations and is determined to put his own happy spin on the festivities. Jay chooses his own costume after rejecting Gloria's couple's costume choice of Princess Fiona and Shrek. Meanwhile, Cameron feels his dedication to coaching is causing him to drop the ball on parenting Lily, and Mitchell is hoping to break a losing streak in the court room.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: I'm sorry. I'm just- I'm really nervous about this closing argument today.
Cameron: [whispering] Is it because you've lost three cases in a row?
Mitchell: Whispering it doesn't make it any less painful.
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: Well, do you want to run your argument by me?
Mitchell: Could I?
Cameron: Sure.
Mitchell: Um, okay. Six years ago, Alger Equities took investments from municipal pension funds and private investors and funneled all of that into offshore- And I've already lost you.
Cameron: No. I was just thinking, because it's Halloween, what if you wore these in the courtroom? Show the jury "Hey, I'm playful."
Mitchell: Cam, I'm an attorney, not Bugs Bunny trying to hide on a train.
Quote from Lily
Lily: I'm ready.
Cameron: There's Waldo!
Lily: I think I'm gonna win the costume contest.
Cameron: Hey, now, honey, it's not important if you win. It's just for fun. Picture.
Lily: But it's more fun if you win. [to Mitchell] No offense, daddy.
Quote from Alex
Alex: Damn it! I cut my finger!
Haley: Ha, ha, happy Halloween.
Alex: No, really. I cut myself. Look!
Luke: That looks great. What'd you use to make the blood?
Alex: A knife. I'm actually hurt.
Claire: Great production value, sweetheart. I'm impressed.
Quote from Jay
Gloria: Ay, dios mio. What is this?
Jay: What's up, princess? I'm Prince Charming.
Gloria: I can see that.
Jay: I got Joe a donkey costume, and I got Stella cat ears. I just hope she doesn't chase herself.
Gloria: Ah, I get it, because she's a dog.
Jay: I also found out that princess Fiona is supposed to wear a tiara, so here you go. They had a whole bucket full of 'em.
Quote from Phil
Claire: Honey, I don't think that fits.
Phil: It fits in Awesomeland. It's a magic hat. I'm gonna have this bunny jumping out of it.
Claire: You gonna put some blood on it, maybe dangle an eyeball?
Phil: Who hurt you? I'm kidding. I know it's Jay and Dede.
Quote from Phil
Claire: [aside to camera] Our new neighbors, medical-marijuana retailer Ronnie and his wife, Amber, moved in two months ago, and-
Phil: It's been a week and a half.
Claire: Dear God. Really?
Phil: Yeah.
Quote from Claire
Haley: I'm meeting a friend for coffee.
Claire: No, you're not. No. You're helping me take this all down. Everything goes. Everything except the bunny. I have plans for the bunny.
Quote from Cameron
Debbie: And how are you two related?
Cameron: Uh, you know what, gay or straight, there's no wrong way to make a family, so...
Debbie: Okay, down, girl. I meant, how are your costumes related? It's a parent/child costume contest.
Quote from Cameron
Lily: I gave it to you, Daddy! I knew your costume was all wrong!
Cameron: O-okay, hey, don't panic. There's plenty of time before the parade. Is there another character in "where's Waldo?"
Lily: Wizard Whitebeard.
Cameron: Okay! Well, that'll be fun! I haven't gone out with a white beard since I took my cousin Sally to the prom. All right, I'll be back as soon as I can. Lily, explain Daddy's joke.