Gloria: Jay, are you hungry? [no response] Jay? What's wrong with him?
Joe: Is everything gonna be okay, Mommy? [hugs Manny] You're scaring us.
Manny: Oh, it's okay, buddy. Jay is just going through something right...
Joe: [holding Manny's wallet] Idiot! I hope you like dancing for coins on the streets of Calcutta.

Jay: Table for two, please. Are you my waiter?
Phil: Hey, Jay. How you doing?
Jay: This isn't what I wanted.
Phil: I know you might be feeling a little down with everybody leaving, but it's not the end of the world, right?
Jay: I'm finished here.
Phil: Hey, don't you talk like that.
Jay: Could I please have a spoon?
Phil: Wh... Whatever you need... buddy. [spoons Jay]

Cameron: Okay, alright, I... I know what you're doing. You're putting up walls around your... your feelings, because you're not emotionally prepared to let go of someone you love so dearly.
Gloria: Manny.
Cameron: Oh, yeah. He's leaving, too.
Gloria: 21 years. Five careers. Two husbands. He was the only constant. I can't start crying to him about this now, because I might never stop.

Cameron: Yes, I know, but those feelings have to go somewhere, Gloria. Why don't you do what I did... put them in writing?
Gloria: That might work. Thank you, Cam.
Cameron: No. No, Gloria. [sniffles] Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be your guide to spiritual awakening the last 12 years. It has been... a true privilege.
Gloria: What are you talking about? We've been alone maybe like eight times.
Cameron: Shh. Soar.

Manny: Joe!
Joe: Too late. I just sold your kidney on the black market in Zanzibar.

Gloria: Joe, your brother's trying to take a bath. Privacy, please. [closes door]
Manny: Oh, Mom! Mom, no. [Gloria uncuffs Manny] Thank you.
Gloria: I know that you're the poet in the family, but I wrote you a little something.
Manny: Oh, Mom. I'm the lucky one.
Gloria: I'm gonna miss you so much, but I am so excited that you're going to have adventures on your own. Have the best year, Manny.
Manny: I will. And I'm gonna miss you, too.
Gloria: Come back in one piece.
Manny: I promise. [Gloria cuffs Manny] What?
Gloria: Talk is cheap.
Manny: Mom! What... How am I supposed to get out?!
Gloria: You have everything you need to figure it out. Slow down your heartbeat, look at your surroundings.

Haley: [on the phone] Wah, wah, wah. You carried two boxes, Dylan. I carried two humans. Yes, Poppy and George. Who else?

Luke: Hey. I know people tend to get mushy in moments like this, but with you headed around the world and me headed off to college...
Manny: [voice breaking] We'll stay close.
Luke: How come you never wrote a poem for me?
Manny: Don't you get it? They were all for you.

Jay: Life is full of change... some big, some small. I learned a long time ago, you can fight it... ...or you can try to make the best of it. And that's all a lot easier if you've got people who love you... ...helping you face whatever life throws at you. At least, that's what helps me sleep at night.

Haley: Hi, Mommy and Daddy. We know you don't think that we can take care of a dog, but you haven't met our dog, Woofie.
Luke: Woof!
Haley: No barking, Woofie.
Luke: But you just said to...
Alex: Bad dog! Bad dog!
Luke: Ow!