Haley: Oh, my God. He looked like those old pictures of dad from High School.

Luke: Are you okay, Dad?
Phil: No, I'm not okay. I hate to tell you this, but these rides are killing me.
Luke: But you're the king of roller coasters.
Phil: I know! Something happens when you get older. Guess you can't take it. One of my favorite things in the world is doing stupid fun stuff with you, like pogo stick basketball or trying to get a swing to go all the way around.
Luke: Next time, we should sit on a fire extinguisher.
Phil: Yes, or a bottle of Coke and some Mentos. Honestly, though, the way I'm feeling right now, I don't know if there's gonna be a next time.

Luke: So do you still wanna talk or-
Phil: No, go. Ride Space Mountain. Uh, at the end, when they take a picture, do something hilarious for both of us.
Luke: You're gonna die. When you see it, not 'cause you're old.

Gloria: You have been so busy burying your face in your phone that you barely said hello to your family, you gave Winnie-the-Pooh the cold shoulder, and you haven't even noticed that pretty girl in the blue elephant that has been smiling at you.
Manny: Not my type, but still it's nice to be noticed.
Gloria: You see what happens when you're not burying your head in business?
Manny: You're right. I'll try to be more present. What the heck's on your feet?
Gloria: They're slippers. They're like pillows.

Cameron: Your dad got her baby high heels, which we said we were never gonna let her wear.
Lily: I love 'em.
Cameron: You look gorgeous, sweetie. Oh, my gosh. You felt people judged us before? Wait till they meet little Miss Anaheim.
Mitchell: Who cares? Look at her. She can barely move. Thank you, Dad.
Jay: You know what? She's got pretty good gams for a 3-year-old.

Dylan: [in Little John costume] Haley! It's me. Dylan. I'm in the bear suit. I borrowed it to talk to you.
Haley: Why are you dancing like that?
Dylan: This is what Little John does. Maybe. I don't know what movie this dude is from. I'm not even supposed to be talking to you.
Haley: Well, I'm not talking to you.
Dylan: No, you can talk.
Haley: I know, but I'm mad. You came back to town and didn't even call me.
Dylan: I was embarrassed. I lost my job at the dude ranch, and I wanted to get my act together first.
Haley: But the four dweebs on a bike act?
Dylan: Hey, the Dapper Dans are a main street tradition since 1959.

Claire: Phil, you don't look like you're doing very well.
Phil: Maybe because I officially became an old man back there at Thunder Mountain.
Claire: Oh, my goodness. You are burning up. You might have the flu.
Phil: A bunch of guys at work had the flu, and we all drink orange juice out of the same carton. We should get cups. Luke, did you hear that?! I have the flu!
Jay: Glad we didn't share that pickle.

Claire: Where's Ethan?
Haley: Oh, he's staying. He ran into some friends. But Dylan got fired, so don't freak out. We have to give him a ride home. And we're back together.
Dylan: Yay.

Jay: Hey, no one goes home till we hit the Lincoln thing.
Luke: Yawn.
Claire: Don't even try to fight it.
Mitchell: Yeah, he made us go when we were kids.
Jay: Come on, people! It's a robotic president! What's not to love?
Luke: A robotic president?

Ethan: Hey, what's going on?
Haley: Nothing.
Dylan: [in Little John costume] I still love her, Ethan.
Ethan: Okay, how do you know my name?
Dylan: It's Dylan. Look, I don't wanna harsh your day, but I never stopped loving Haley and I never will!
Ethan: Is this some sort of joke?
Dylan: Do I look like I'm joking?