Phil: Okay, buddy, moment of truth.
Luke: Yes! This is gonna be so awesome!
Luke: Yeah!
Phil: In 45 minutes, this is gonna be so awesome!
Luke: Yeah!

Cameron: What do you know? Another caring parent with a child safety tether. See? We're not the only people who use them. Hi! Aren't they adorable?
Twins' Mother: Oh, and look at your cutie!
Cameron: Oh, well, yes. She just wanted to say hi.
Twins' Mother: Oh. Sorry. They're a little feisty today.
Cameron: Oh! No problem. She's friendly.
Twins' Mother: Rex, gentle.
Mitchell: Oh, his- His name's Rex, huh?

Ethan: You do not play the cello.
Alex: I do. Even geekier, I'm good.
Ethan: Okay, answer me this.
Alex: I will answer you this.
Ethan: Why do people carry cellos around? You know, people aren't expected to lug a piano around. What's the cutoff?
Alex: I know, right? Like, go where the cello is.

Claire: Oh, look at this. I think I've inadvertently set up my 14-year-old with a college boy.
Jay: The boy was your doing?
Claire: Yes. Yes, and he was perfect, and Haley was into him until, of course, we ran into Dylan. I mean, come on, dad. What are the odds of that happening?
Jay: It's a small world.
Claire: Yes, it is.
Jay: You see what I did there?
Claire: I did.
Jay: 'Cause it's a ride.
Claire: I got it. Got it, dad. I got it.

Claire: It's so frustrating because I know I can't run Haley's like for her, but if she would let me, I would be so good at it.
Jay: Right, 'cause parents always know what's best for their kids. You remember that nice girl at the office I tried to fix Mitch up with?
Claire: No offense, Dad, but I think I probably have a better sense of what my kids need than you did.
Jay: I think it's cute you think that.

Luke: Mom! It was so awesome! The jeep was jerking around and- And there was a lot of sharp turns and big drops.
Claire: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Luke: It just kept going.
Claire: Wow. [to Phil] You okay?
Phil: Great. Why wouldn't I be?
Claire: Because you're kinda leaning on me.
Phil: Well, isn't that what a marriage is?

Jay: You look like hell.
Phil: I'm feeling a little dizzy. I think that ride did something to me.
Jay: The fluid in your inner ear is thickening. That's what happens when you get old.
Phil: It is?
Jay: Yeah, you can't take the motion. I gotta pop a dramamine to get in my swivel chair.
Phil: That is not it. I'm king of the roller coasters. I think I just put too big of a whipped cream smile on my pancake this morning.

Jay: Must be nice to get out of those shoes for a minute.
Gloria: I don't know what you talking about.
Jay: Nothing. I'm just making conversation. Hey. Check it out. I bought one of those souvenir photos with you and Manny on the ride. Boy, it looks like you're having a good time. Wait a minute. What's that in your hand? Are those shoes?
Gloria: I'm not even sure that that is us, Jay.
Jay: Why are you walking around in pain? Just admit the shoes were a bad idea.

Jay: Gloria! Gloria, sit down for a second.
Gloria: I'm fine, Jay.
Jay: Please? Look. You may not be in pain, okay, but I'm in pain just thinking you're in pain. So humor me for one minute.
Gloria: What are those?
Jay: There wasn't a big selection at the Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique.
Gloria: Are you crazy? I cannot walk around in public with these things. They're so yellow and so ugly. And and they're so softy and so comfortable. Jay, what is this? Thank you for going shopping for me. Thank you for worrying about my feet. Thank you for giving me your jacket when I'm cold. You're such a good man, Jay.

Jay: I didn't expect you to be so... so nice.
Gloria: Why are you so surprised?
Jay: Now please don't go all Latin on me when I say this. Is it possible you get angry from time to time because you're always wearing uncomfortable shoes?
Gloria: Maybe. Can you get me a couple of more? Maybe they have purple?
Jay: Whatever you want, honey.