Cameron: And lastly, Marcus Talbot. Guys, he's feeling a little under the weather. Fear not. He's home resting his instrument, and he will be ready for the show tonight. But I will need a phantom for this rehearsal.
Manny: So, anyone I guess I could help.
[aside to camera:]
Manny: I don't know how Marcus ever got the lead. But I know how he got sick, from chewing all that scenery. This was my chance to earn it back from that insincere phony.
[back:]
Manny: But first, a silent prayer for our fallen Captain Marcus. Godspeed, old friend.

Lily: This is boring. Is he dead?
Claire: No, he's not dead. He's just sleeping. Babies need to sleep a lot so they grow bigger and stronger and smarter.
Dylan: Hey, Mrs. D. Hey, Lucy.
Lily: Every time.

Lily: Good, you woke him up.
Claire: Maybe he's hungry. I just fed him, but I don't think bottles can live up to the real thing.
Dylan: Maybe I can calm him down.
Claire: Oh, that's very sweet of you, but he's super fussy today. And when babies are fussy, they- They- Wow.
Dylan: Yeah, I'm good with babies.
Haley: You should see him play peek-a-boo. He's amazing.
Dylan: No. I'm good. I know a guy in Chicago, he's amazing.

Phil: Well, we should play together as a foursome.
Jay: First time that word's creeped me out, but okay.
Pepper: Care to make it interesting?
Jay: I think your pants have already done that. How 'bout a hundred bucks?

Doug: Why is it taking you so long? How hard is it to paint a wall?
Luke: A lot harder than your so-called singing. At least this is supposed to be flat.
Doug: I once saw a monkey paint a wall.
Luke: Yeah? Did you say, "Good job, mom"?

Cameron: [on the phone] Mono? But he's my lead. My career depends upon this. The district is this close to cutting my funding. And my fingers are very close together right now.

Cameron: Uh, Luke?
Manny: Stop it. Are you trying to spook him?
Cameron: What are you talking about?
Manny: He's already intimidated by you after you criticized his sets.
Cameron: Oh, please. I could not be the only person that found his unicorns distracting.
Manny: Let me talk to him first. If I can't get the job done, then you step in Kind of like the way an understudy would traditionally take over when the lead finds himself...
Cameron: Yeah. Just do it.

Manny: Hey there, Luke. Or should I say, phantom?
Luke: You wanna get to the point? 'Cause I'm kind of on a schedule, and this paint keeps making me fall down.

Manny: Marcus is out, and Cam wants you to take over.
Luke: Really? Well, I do know all the songs.
Manny: Stop trying to talk yourself out of it. You're doing it.
Luke: It's only for two nights.
Manny: You're doing it again, looking at the negatives. Look at the bright side. What if you don't screw up, humiliate yourself, and get mocked forever?
Luke: I'd get mocked?
Manny: Only by the cool kids. But who needs them? You're one of us now. The theater geeks.

Mitchell: What is happening to me? All right, what are we three strokes down now?
Pepper: I think someone needs a Pepper talk. [slaps Mitchell across the face]
Mitchell: Aah! Ow! How is that a pepper talk?
Pepper: You need to get angry. Play aggressive. That man's been Mitch-slapping you your entire life.