‘Blackout’
Season 7, Episode 7 - Aired November 18, 2005
Hal and Lois are about to go out for dinner to celebrate their wedding anniversary, until Hal gets his hands on some prized Kobe beef. Malcolm and Reese are waiting for their parents to leave so they can spend time with some visiting Dutch girls, but then Reese is offered the chance to cook the Kobe steaks. Dewey is upset that Hal reneged on a promise that they would all eat cereal for dinner. Meanwhile, Francis arrives home in search of something and inadvertently causes a blackout.
Quote from Hal
Lois: What's this? I thought we were going out for our anniversary.
Hal: Honey, this is going to be even better. We are going to stay home and have Kobe beef. [chuckles] [sighs] Okay, I thought you'd be a little excited.
Lois: Ah, I'm sorry, Hal. I'm just a little lost in thought. A friend at work is having, um... marital problems.
Hal: And that's very sad. But we are going to have Kobe beef. Reese is going to prepare its flesh perfectly because he thinks he's going to get some to eat. But he's not. Isn't that great? [laughs]
Lois: That's a good scheme.
Hal: You bet it's a good scheme.
Quote from Reese
Malcolm: We have to get rid of Mom and Dad.
Reese: Don't worry about it.
Malcolm: I am worried about it. Those Dutch girls won't hold forever.
[Reese lights the barbecue and sees the Dutch girls about to leave]
Reese: Dutch girls! No! Stay, Dutch girls, stay!
Quote from Malcolm
Malcolm: [to camera] No, no, no, please, don't leave. I'll lose face. In American culture, if I say I'm throwing a party and my guests leave, then I'm humiliated. And I have to prove myself in combat against the mayor. I might die.
Quote from Francis
Lois: Francis? Francis? I had another thought for you and Piama ballroom dancing.
Francis: Oh, that sounds great, Mom. But you know, your advice from earlier, it really helped out, so I think we're going to be cool. [lights come on]
Lois: That stupid fish?!
Quote from Dewey
Dewey: This country's also full of lying fathers who say you can have cereal and then make you eat steak.
Malcolm: I promise you, you'll have fun. Dewey, shut up and get lost!
Dewey: If you understood our culture better, there's no way you'd be here.
Quote from Malcolm
Reese: It's not going to work. Mom and Dad aren't going anywhere. We're going to have to do this another night.
Malcolm: There is no other night. They're going home tomorrow.
Reese: But there is a blackout. What are we supposed to do with a bunch of Dutch girls in the dark?
Malcolm: These girls are from Amsterdam. They don't even have a word for virginity there.
Quote from Reese
Reese: Just because it's drugs, doesn't mean it has to taste bad.
Quote from Hal
Hal: I hate children. I can't believe it. Your mother and I... Well, all of us, really are missing the greatest beef in the world because your brother Malcolm is drunk!
Dewey: He's not drunk, Dad. He's hiding under his bed with Dutch girls.
Hal: Don't cover for him! Malcolm, you're such a big man when you're getting drunk to impress your friends. But when it's time to drive home and take your punishment, it's "Oh, Daddy, come save me."
Quote from Hal
Hal: Malcolm!
Malcolm: Crap!
Hal: You're here!
Malcolm: Kinda.
Hal: You lied to me. You're not drunk at all!
Quote from Francis
Lois: You lied to me. You're not getting divorced.
Francis: Sorry.
Lois: You sold out your wife and your marriage and got me all...
Francis: Excited, Mom?
Lois: No. Upset. All so you could steal your father's fish!
Francis: You can't steal what belongs to you. I reeled it in for five hours. He just swooped in at the last moment and gaffed it.