Marshall: And then I thought what do you do if you got a wife who won't stop crying, three idiots who won't stop bribing you, and a universally beloved skill for gamesmanship? You take a bunch of guardianship scenarios, throw them on a wheel, buy your wife an expensive dress so she'll participate.
Lily: I'm pretty again.
Marshall: Bottom line is I just wanted to make the idea of me and Lily dying...
Lily: [sighs]
Marshall: fun. Now, if you'll step behind your podiums, we'll get started.

Marshall: [clears throat] Contestants, here's how the game works. Lily will spin that wheel. Not yet. When it lands on a parenting issue, you'll each describe how you would handle it with Marvin. The contestant with the highest score gets to be his godparent. Ready to play? Great. Lily, spin that wheel! [silence] Okay, now, see, um, enthusiasm will factor into your scores. So, I say again: Lily, spin...
All: Spin that wheel!

Marshall: Robin? Birds and bees?
Robin: Well, I, for one, don't think you have to teach Marvin a thing. If he's anything like his dad, he's a natural-born stud. Lily got a little braggy at a cucumber stand once, big guy.
Marshall: Robin wins again!
Barney: Oh, come on!
Ted: That's clearly pandering!

Ted: Yeah, right. I've seen Barney throw. He's no Vinnie Pestano, am I right? [silence] Beloved Indians' middle reliever. Cleveland sports are still relevant. LeBron who? Right, guys?

Marshall: Guys, guys, guys! Okay! All right! Obviously, none of you knows what it really means to be a parent.
Barney: Well, obviously, neither of you know what it means to be a friend anymore.
Marshall: What are you talking about?
Ted: Think about it. This is the most we've seen you two in five months.
Robin: You don't seem to care what's going on in our lives unless it's an eight or higher.
Marshall: Well, what do you expect? We have a baby now.
Lily: Yeah. The days of closing down MacLaren's are over. Unless you want to get up with us at 5:13 in the morning with a screaming baby.
Ted: So that's it? The... the end of an era, just like that?
Marshall: Look... We're sorry if-if we don't have time to sit around the bar listening to silly little dating problems. When you have a baby, it's not just the most important thing in your life, it's the only important thing. When are you guys gonna get that?
Ted: Think we get it.

Lily: I can't believe they just walked out.
Marshall: Yeah. Maybe it's for the best. Barney was starting to pull ahead.
Lily: I mean, how selfish can they be? We're trying to raise a child here. I'm sorry if I don't have time to deal with Ted's... Um, or Robin's... Um, or Barney's...
Marshall: Huh.
Lily: You know, we were about to name one of them Marvin's godparent, and I can't tell you what's going on in any of their lives.
Marshall: Do you think that maybe we've been a little crappy as friends lately?
[Lily hits the xylophone to indicate yes]

Ted: Do you really know how to bow hunt?
Robin: Um, yeah. At the British Columbia Military School for Boys we called it "making lunch."

Lily: Hey, guys. We asked Mickey to watch Marvin so we could come down and talk.
Marshall: I know that we didn't get to finish the game, but we've reached a decision. Lily?
Lily: We've decided... to revoke the "eight or higher" rule.
All: What?
Lily: We want to know everything that's going on with you guys.
Ted: Really?
Marshall: You're our best friends. Everything is an eight or higher.

Future Ted: [v.o.] And for the first time in almost half a year, Lily and Marshall closed down MacLaren's.
Ted: Anyway, Victoria's dad and I are working out a payment plan with a very reasonable interest rate.
[later]
Robin: At least, Nick's cycle is fuel-efficient. We're getting, like, 30, 35 miles to the cob.
Lily: Really?
Robin: Yeah.
Barney: You know, I should've told you about that six and a half sooner. Barney Stinson banging
anything less than an eight? That's like a 15.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And it was a great night. Until...
[Ted, Barney and Robin wake in Marshall and Lily's apartment when the baby starts crying at 5:13 am]
Ted: [to Lily and Marshall] Go back to bed. We got this.
[As Ted and Robin go into the nursery to check on Marvin, Barney leaves]

Future Ted: [v.o.] And Lily and Marshall finally decided on a guardian.
Marshall: Are you sure about this, baby?
Lily: Yes. No matter what happens, I want Marvin to stay in the family.
[The camera pans over the document which lists Ted Mosby + Robin Scherbatsky + Barney Stinson as legal guardians]