Robin: You have to go home and get to bed.
Barney: Oh, Robin, my simple friend from the untamed north, let me tell you about a little thing I like to call mind over body. You see, whenever I start feeling sick, I just stop being sick and be awesome instead. True story. Yeah, in two minutes, I'm going to pound a sixer of Red Bull, hop in a cab, play a couple of hours of laser tag, maybe get a spray-on tan. It's gonna be legen... Wait for it... [Barney falls asleep]

Barney: We're going to Sascha's.
Ted: Who the hell is Sascha?
Barney: Sascha. [points to security woman] She's having friends over for drinks at her house. It's gonna be legen- wait for it, and I hope you're not lactose intolerant 'cause the second half of that word is -dairy!

Barney: We're going to Sascha's.
Ted: Who the hell is Sascha?
Barney: Sascha. [points to security woman] She's having friends over for drinks at her house. It's gonna be legen- wait for it, and I hope you're not lactose intolerant 'cause the second half of that word is -dairy!

Barney: Okay, listen, I am going to get you to that hospital or die trying. And if I succeed, I ask only one thing in return. Let me choose your child's middle name because I have thought of the most awesome name of all time.
Marshall: What's the middle name?
Barney: Wait for it.
Marshall: I'm waiting.
Barney: Wait for it.
Marshall: I said I'm waiting.
Barney: Wait for it.
Marshall: What's the middle name?
Barney: No, the middle name is wait for it. Let's say the first name is - oh, I don't know - Barney. He'd be Barney Wait for It Eriksen. How awesome is that?
Marshall: That is... the coolest middle name of all time!

Ted: Guys! I hate Zoey! That means you're supposed to hate her, too! Th- That's your rule, Lily!
Lily: I tried.
Ted: Tried?! Lily, do you have any idea how many people I've blindly hated for you? I hated Renée Zellweger with a burning passion for eight years, only to discover you meant Reese Witherspoon!
Lily: Hey, I will hate her until I get my money back for You, Me and Dupree!
Ted: That's Kate Hudson!
Lily: Oh, yeah. That's who I hate. Guys, we hate Kate Hudson.

Ted: All right, it's dead in here. I'm gonna call it a little early.
Barney: What? No! You can't go now. It's the night before Thanksgiving. College chicks are back in town. Their moms just made a snide comment about the weight they gained. They called her a bitch, but deep down, they know she's right. And they're about to walk through that door, where we will be waiting with some light beer and some rock hard approval. Wh-What U-up?

[flashback to Lily, Marshall, Barney and Robin at MacLaren's after Ted left:]
Lily: Oh, my God. That's Zoey! That's Ted's enemy. Which means she's our enemy. Let's take this bitch down.
[present:]
Lily: Huh? Huh? Who's got your back? Now let's have dinner!
Ted: Finish the story, Red.
Lily: Okay, well, we all started brainstorming ways to mess with her. There were a lot of different ideas kicking around.
[flashback:]
Barney: And then I'm just going to leave her there... buck-naked, covered in candle wax, tied to the bed.
Marshall: Barney, I know that Ted doesn't like that girl, but that's a little extreme.
Barney: Wait, Ted doesn't like that girl?