Barney: You guys, that other table is off the hook. What are we talking about?
Lily: Robin's dad.
Robin: I haven't spoken to him in three years and I don't intend to start now.
Lily: Why?
[flashback to a hospital operating room:]
Robin: [v.o.] It goes back to the day I was born.
Robin Sr.: You give me my son now. Push. [baby cries] Oh, no. Oh, no.
[present:]
Robin: He wanted a son and the fact that I was a girl didn't change his plan.
Ted: What do you mean?
Robin: My full legal name is Robin Charles Scherbatsky, Jr. And it only gets worse from there.

[flashback to a young Robin with her father, both dressed in hunting attire:]
Robin: [v.o.] When I was eight, he took me hunting for the first time.
Robin: I don't want to shoot a deer.
Robin Sr.: Nonsense, R.J. Shooting deer is the noblest of pursuits.
Robin: But they're cute.
Robin Sr.:You said the same thing about our rabbits. Remember how delicious they were?

Barney: You poor thing. To have to grow up in Canada with America right there.

Lily: Don't you think it would feel better to talk to him about all this?
Robin: No, that's the point. It wouldn't solve anything. It's in the past. It's done. I mean, what would I even say to him? "I wish you hadn't raised me as a boy? I wish you hadn't taught me how to hunt and fish and smoke cigars and drink Scotch because that's not what girls do. And you know, the reason I throw like a girl, Dad, is because I am a girl."
Ted: Huh. You've held on to that for a long time, huh?
Robin: Yeah.
Ted: It really messed you up.
Robin: Yeah.
Marshall: That sucks.
Lily: I'm sorry.
Barney: That's hot.

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, the day you get married is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. The perfect ending to a perfect love story. My wedding, at least my first wedding, didn't go so well.

Ted: It's funny, looking back on it now. I was so sure Stella was the one. And when she left me, I was so devastated. But you guys got me through it. And now the painful part's over. I've come out the other side a little bit stronger. You know, I hardly even think about her anymore. That's what time does, I guess.
[long silence]
Lily: Ted, the wedding was yesterday. It's been 24 hours.
Ted: I know. And this is me moving on. A great new chapter of my life began today, and we're gonna celebrate. Right now, we need two things. We need Kool and we need the Gang. It's jukebox time, huh?

Barney: I look at that young man, popping and locking his way over to the jukebox and I think to myself, "You know, maybe Stella made the right call." [Lily punches Barney in the shoulder] Ow! Pain!

Future Ted: [v.o.] And we need to be there for him. But as much as my friends really wanted to be there for me, I was, by all appearances, fine.
Lily: Hey, buddy. Want to hang out?
Ted: Guys, I'm fine.
[later]
Marshall: Hey, pal, you want to have a catch?
Ted: I'm fine.
[later]
Barney: Hey, kiddo.
Ted: Barney, I'm fine. This is not necessary, and it's actually kind of weird. No offense, ladies.
Barney: I did not realize you'd be home. Ladies, to the stairwell.

Future Ted: [v.o.] Finally, after two weeks, the inevitable emotions boiled over.
Ted: Hey, you guys want to get some dinner?
Lily: Oh, shut up. I'm sorry, sweetie. It's just, Ted, you've been through something traumatic, and we're trying to be there for you as friends, but you're not letting us, and it's pissing us off, you selfish bitch. Sorry.

Marshall: Look, we're just worried that you're not dealing with this whole Stella thing. Okay, now, do you remember when Lily left me? You remember how I held in my feelings?
[flashback to Marshall with his head in Ted's lap:]
Marshall: [wailing] I miss her so much.
[present:]
Robin: Yeah, dude, you were a rock.
Marshall: Well, I should have been even worse, okay? I should have gotten mad. I should have taken your advice and set all of Lily's stuff on fire.
Lily: Oh. Nice. Thanks, Ted.