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32Quotes from ‘Shelter Island’

How I Met Your Mother: Shelter Island

405. Shelter Island

Aired October 20, 2008

After Ted and Stella decide to get married in just three days, Ted upsets her by inviting Robin.

Quote from Marshall

Ted: We just had dinner with Stella's sister and her fiancé. They're getting married before us.
Stella: Okay, you know how you've dreamt about your perfect wedding day ever since you were a little girl?
Lily: Yeah.
Marshall: Totally.


Quote from Robin

Ted: [on the phone] Come on, you've got to come, it's my wedding.
Robin: I can't. I'm in Tokyo. It's my first week on the job. I can't just take off. Plus, I'm finally doing serious news.
[The camera pans out to reveal Robin is sitting next to a monkey and a bowl of marshmallows on the set of her Japanese news show]
Future Ted: [v.o.] Robin was doing serious news. It was the number one English news network in Japan. Of course, the news as a little different over there.
Man: [in Japanese] Giant Fan! [industrial-sized fan blows]
Robin: [on Japanese TV] The Federal Reserve Board voted to leave interest rates unchanged.

Quote from Robin

Robin: [on Japanese TV] Good evening.
Monkey: [gibbering]
Robin: And I'm Robin Scherbatsky. Peace talks were stalled once again in the Middle East. [the monkey throws marshmallows at Robin] Despite a promising start in the latest negotiations, talks foundered on security issues.

Quote from Barney

Barney: [off Lily's look] What?
Lily: No "Don't get married, Ted"? No "You're making a big mistake, Ted"? Barney Stinson, are you no longer committed to the war on marriage?
Barney: No, I just know a hopeless cause when I see it. It's the same reason I don't recycle. Plus, Ted getting married is in my best interest. [v.o.] You see, lately I've been working on a problem of the utmost importance. I confess I was stumped. Until one night I decided to tackle it once and for all.
[Barney at work writes an equation on a board titled "How can I have sex with Robin again?" Various words light up: VULNERABLE, NOSTALGIC, BOOZE]
Barney: [v.o.] Then, at last... I cracked the code. [GET HER DRUNK AT TED'S WEDDING]

Quote from Barney

Barney: I need alcohol. I'm not gonna get Robin with this stuff. Look at this. Berry Blaster Brain Revitalizer. My God, some of these drinks could actually make a girl smarter. What sort of hell has Ted brought us to?

Quote from Future Ted

Ted: Come on, it's not weird.
Stella: It is weird. It's like things are not finished between you two. And Tony, I can't talk with Tony right now. Can you please go out there and tell him to leave? You can make me the bad guy. I'll go talk to Robin, so she
knows it's nothing personal.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And kids, if I had just let Stella talk to Robin, this whole story might have ended differently.
Tony: I understand.
Robin: I get it.
Announcer: For the first time, Ted and Stella Mosby.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that's how I met your mother.
[Fantasy scene of Stella with two blonde kids in Ted's future apartment:]
Stella: Blah, blah, blah. Is your dad finally done yakking? Now, come on, who wants ice cream?
Future Ted: But I didn't.

Quote from Future Ted

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, sometimes you think you're living out one story, but the truth turns out to be something else entirely. At the time I thought the story was about whether Robin should be at the wedding. If only I'd understood what the real story was.
Stella: Having exes around... I don't know, brings up... unresolved things.
Stella: How do you know that that spark won't come back with your ex sitting out there? It's like things are not finished between you two.
Stella: I wasted years trying to get Lucy's dad to decide if he was ready for this.
Tony: Seeing you guys, it's made me realize everything I had.
Stella: I used to dream that Tony would be spontaneous like this.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Seriously, kids, never invite an ex to your wedding.

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