‘Neighbors’
Season 8, Episode 20 - Aired March 16, 1999
After Wilson wins some money at a hockey game he attended with Tim and Brad, he decides to build a greenhouse in his backyard. Although Tim offers to help build the greenhouse, the neighbors are soon feuding about the plans.
Quote from Tim
Tim: I'm really glad we worked things out.
Wilson: Yes, indeedy. Now we can come out here and talk all we want.
Tim: [grunts] Yeah. Come out here and talk all we want. [sighs]
Wilson: So, Tim, is something on your mind?
Tim: No, not really. Maybe you had a quote or an anecdote you want to share?
Wilson: No, not a one.
Tim: Well, maybe this situation will remind you of a story or someone you met.
Wilson: Nothing comes to mind.
Tim: No? Well, all right then. Just take out the garbage.
Wilson: Yeah. I'll go back to grooming my squirrels for St. Paddy's Day.
Tim: Hey, later on, you want to go moon Borland with me?
Wilson: I'm there!
Quote from Tim
Tim: You know, I don't think you'll find it all that humorous when our yard is invaded by Italian Harvey Wallbangers and Japanese Pinkos.
Jill: So now you're worried about what he's planting?
Tim: Not just that. What about the riffraff that a big greenhouse is gonna attract?
Jill: What riffraff?
Tim: Botanist. Hello!
Quote from Wilson
Announcer: [v.o.] Okay, Red Wings fans. That's the end of the first period. So it's time for our very special surprise giveaway.
Tim: All right!
Wilson: Well, you seem very excited about this contest.
Tim: Forget the contest. It's time for the Zamboni.
Announcer: [v.o.] And the winning seat is section 12, row 8, seat 22.
[Everyone but Wilson bends down to look at their seat number]
Brad: Shoot.
Tim: It's you.
Wilson: [bends down] Holy Mother Hubbard, it is me!
Quote from Tim
Brad: Well, I'm ready for the big hockey game.
Jill: You can't wear that shirt. It's all stained.
Brad: Mom, these happen to be the soda stains from the '97 Stanley Cup finals.
Jill: That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. [Tim comes down in his own stained Red Wings shirt] With one possible exception. What are those? Blood stains?
Tim: Oh, yeah.
Brad: Yeah, that's when Yzerman bounced a puck off of Dad's chin.
Tim: Twice.
Quote from Tim
Brad: All right, Dad. I'm gonna go warm up the car. Hey, don't forget the octopi, all right?
Tim: What do you think I am? An idiot?
Brad: I thought they wouldn't let you bring those in there anymore.
Tim: The real fan always finds a way.
Quote from Brad
Brad: Hey, what idiot just threw this?
Woman: It was an accident. I'm so sorry.
Brad: Oh, oh, it's okay. It's probably my fault for having my head there.
Woman: Thanks.
Tim: Hey, hey, yo, yo, yo. Game's this way.
Quote from Mark
Jill: How'd it go with Jenny?
Mark: Terrible. Edward Meany was at the pizza place. I think Jenny's interested in him.
Jill: How come?
Mark: Well, he used to be a good-looking ten. But now he got glasses and started a ham radio club. He's a five. I'm dead.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Today we're gonna show you how to put up a beautiful garden greenhouse in your yard. And for that we have a special guest today who's embarking on just such a project. He's a good friend and neighbor of mine, Wilson Wilson. Heidi, my neighbor, please.
Wilson: Hidey-ho, Tim.
Al: Well, let's get started. Now, the first step in building a greenhouse is to determine site, size and materials.
Tim: The site will be Wilson's backyard. What I've selected for him is this pre-fab 7-by-8 unit, right? It's got redwood. It's got fiberglass panels. And it'll fit snug up against his house.
Wilson: Well, this is very nice, Tim. But I still prefer my original idea of this Victorian style.
Tim: Well, we already went over that backstage. It's just not good for the site. It's a little too frou-frou.
Heidi: Tim, it's so pretty.
Tim: I rest my case.
Quote from Wilson
Al: Well, it's more than pretty. Look at this. It's all steel, real glass windows, wooden frames. How big is that gonna be, Wilson?
Wilson: 32 by 20, Al.
Tim: It's just too big.
Wilson: But, Tim, I'm gonna need a lot of space. I'll be growing plants and vegetables from all my travels around the world. Chinese rhododendron, Italian bellflowers.
Tim: As nice as the design is, it would just take up your entire backyard, Wilson.
Wilson: Yeah. But who needs a backyard when you're swimming in Japanese gingkoes?
Al: How true!
Quote from Tim
Tim: Folks, whenever you take on a construction project of this size, you want to consult your neighbor.
Wilson: Yes. But Tim, you have never consulted me at Christmas time when you put an entire amusement park on your roof.
Tim: Those Christmas decorations that he speaks of are seasonal. This freakin' thing is a nightmare! Have you lost your mind?
Al: Well, we'll find that out right after these words from Binford.