Tim: What's the matter?
Marty: Ah, you know, just... Seeing all the couples buying each other cards and presents. You know, I miss it.
Tim: You know, what you're going through, it takes a lot of guts.
Marty: You mean living with you?
Tim: That, too.

Man: This saw's $12 cheaper at Tool Mart. Why should I buy it here?
Marty: Uh... We deliver.
Man: But I'm already here.
Marty: All right, I'll tell you what. I'll knock off a buck.
Man: A buck? You gotta be kidding!
Marty: Look, I got customers waiting, you know? If Tool Mart is so much cheaper, go shop there.
Man: Good idea!
Tim: Wait, hold it... Great sales technique, Marty.

Marty: I gotta hand it to you, Tim. I mean, this is the worst investment you ever could have made.
Tim: Way to problem-solve, Marty.

Wilson: Well, hi-ho, tool Taylors.
Tim: Morning, Wilson. Always nice to see your face around here.
Wilson: Well, thank you, Tim.
Marty: What can we do for you, Wilson?
Wilson: Well, I stopped by to buy a few things.
Marty: Stuff's a lot cheaper at Tool Mart.
Tim: Marty!
Marty: Man, I stink at this!

Tim: What a day! Binford's executive schlockmeister, Morgan Wandell, wants me to do a whole Tool Time just talking. No tools, no projects, no hands-on anything! Isn't that insane?
Marty: How many "P's" in "deposit"?
Tim: Two!
Marty: I was right.

[outtake:]
Marty: Yeah, well, I'm my own wife, and I don't happen to think that...
Tim: When you fight, where do you go?