Emily: [on the phone] Do you know what one of life's great mysteries is?
Lorelai: Uh, Mom?
Emily: Whether or not you're going to be joining us for Friday night dinner. And since you pretend to be ignorant of the concept of the RSVP even though I know it was taught to you as a child, I am reduced to calling and asking you, are you coming?
Lorelai: Uh-huh.
Emily: Is that "Uh-huh, yes, I'm coming" or "Uh-huh, I was reading while you were talking"?
Lorelai: Tell you what, Mom - plan on me coming, and if I don't, then it'll just be a little more for everyone else.
Emily: Lorelai, you know very well our dinners do not work like that. There is careful planning and shopping and preparation that goes into every meal no matter how boring and simple it may seem to you.
Lorelai: Oh, Mom- [Lorelai throws food at Luke's back]
Luke: Hey, what- Get off that phone!
Lorelai: Oh, shoot, Mom, there's no cell phones in here. I'll call you back later. Bye. [hangs up] And when I need you, nowhere.

Rory: Thanks for the save.
Trevor: No problem. Heather can get a little "workers of the world, unite" sometimes.
Rory: Yeah, I've never actually met someone who likes the word bourgeois so much.

Rory: I ran down to the dining hall in my pajamas and bunny slippers, and of course I ran into Marty.
Lorelai: Naked guy.
Rory: It was totally humiliating.
Lorelai: Humiliating 'cause naked guy's hot?
Rory: It was humiliating because I had terrycloth rabbits on my feet.
Lorelai: So naked guy's not hot?
Rory: Naked guy is Marty, and it's not like that. He's sweet.
Lorelai: Ah, sweet means bad butt.
Rory: Sweet does not mean bad butt. Sweet means sweet.
Lorelai: Poor naked guy. He should've left his clothes on.
Rory: Okay, you have got to stop talking about naked guy. I just met Marty.

Lorelai: All right. If not him, are there any other guys on the horizon?
Rory: Nope.
Lorelai: No? How about a professor - someone older, wiser, with brown cords and whiskey breath?
Rory: Oh, well, yeah. There's one of those.
Lorelai: Come on, Rory.

Rory: Well, this guy asked me to go try this restaurant this weekend, but it was a totally casual thing.
Lorelai: So what'd you tell him?
Rory: That I was busy.
Lorelai: You don't like him?
Rory: No, I like him fine. I mean, he's smart, and he takes my side in the debates, and he's decent to look at.
Lorelai: So, why'd you say no? Too many clothes?
Rory: I don't know. He he carries a bottle of water around with him all the time. That's just weird.
Lorelai: Right. Hydration. Very creepy.
Rory: And he's preppy, and I don't really like preppy. Plus, he's gonna go study in Barcelona next year.
Lorelai: So?
Rory: So it's a waste of time. It can't go anywhere.
Lorelai: It could go to dinner, maybe a movie.

Lorelai: No, look, Rory, I know you've never really dated.
Rory: What are you talking about? I've dated.
Lorelai: Who did you date?
Rory: Dean.
Lorelai: You and Dean did not date. You had a relationship.
Rory: Well, Jess.
Lorelai: Was relationship number two.
Rory: So maybe I've never dated, but you haven't either.
Lorelai: [gasps] I have dated at least once.
Rory: You had me with dad - relationship.
Lorelai: Yes, but-
Rory: Max, relationship. Dad again, relationship.
Lorelai: Okay, fine, I may not be the world's best dater, but I do it and you should give it a shot. I mean, you're in college now. What else is there to do in college but date?
Rory: I'm gonna go wash my clothes now.
Lorelai: Wait. Was that it? Is this conversation over? Sorry, did I win?

Lorelai: I love horses. I've always loved horses ever since I was a little girl, and now I finally have a grown-up excuse to buy a pony.
Luke: Great. Listen, National Velvet, you have to move this stuff out of here.
Lorelai: Why?
Luke: Because this is a diner. People wanna sit.
Lorelai: This is business.
Luke: No, this is business, and it's open, and it's decorated, and it wants its seats back. Fine.
Lorelai: Sorry about that. He's trying to steal the "World's Grumpiest Diner Guy" title from Mel.

Lorelai: So you know Emily?
Natalie: It's a small world, isn't it?
Lorelai: Yes, yes, really small. About the same square footage as that box they threw McCain in.

Lorelai: Davey? You're naming him Davey?
Sookie: Yes.
Lorelai: I love Davey.
Sookie: Me, too.
Lorelai: Oh, I can't believe you finally picked a name. It makes it real.
Sookie: Yes, because the stomach and massive ankles were too ambiguous.
Lorelai: Does Jackson like it?
Sookie: Uh, well, he's okay with the stomach, but the massive ankles freak him out.

Lorelai: Sookie, my whole life, my whole existence, my essence, my being, my ability to be this sparkling creature standing here before you -- all of this depends on the complete and total separation of my life from my mother's life. That's how it works.
Sookie: But we like Natalie.
Lorelai: We do like Natalie.
Sookie: Remember all the other designers we met that we didn't like before Natalie? Remember the one that wanted to put the tiny mannequin in every room so that the lonely people would have someone to talk to?
Lorelai: Yes, I do.
Sookie: Or the purple, purple, purple guy.
Lorelai: Purple, purple, purple.
Sookie: They were horrible. And then we met Natalie, and she was perfect. Look, just try. At least give Natalie a chance, okay? Please?
Lorelai: I'll try.