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The Fundamental Things Apply

‘The Fundamental Things Apply’

Season 4, Episode 5 - Aired October 21, 2003

Rory tries to hit the dating scene on campus. Meanwhile, Lorelai is uneasy with the fact the new inn's designer knows her mother.

Quote from Lorelai

Luke: Stop doing that.
Lorelai: Shh, no talking.
Luke: Then stop doing that.
Lorelai: Doing what?
Luke: Looking at me.
Lorelai: Vain party, table for one.
Luke: You know what I mean. You're watching me watch the movie. It's creepy.
Lorelai: I enjoy watching people watch certain parts of certain movies.
Luke: But you look over just before something big happens, so I always know something's coming.
Lorelai: Oh, I do?
Luke: You did it just before Humphrey Bogart saw Ingrid Bergman for the first time.
Lorelai: Well, she's the costar. You knew something was coming.


Quote from Rory

Rory: [on the phone] You're right. I've never dated before, and I know that now because of this feeling I have. I've never had this feeling before. Sort of frozen, sort of unsure, sort of wishing you'd read a lot of dating articles in preparation? I have no idea what I'm doing here, and everyone is staring at me because they know we're on a bad first date.
Lorelai: Oh, so the guy's a dud?
Rory: Trevor's fine. I'm moronic. I bring the conversation to a crashing halt every time I speak.
Lorelai: Well, where is he now?
Rory: In the bathroom, probably pondering my brilliant anecdote about urine mints.
Lorelai: About what?
Rory: You know, when people go to the bathroom and they don't wash their hands and they come out and they take a mint.
Lorelai: [gasps] Oh, my God. I've been eating those mints for years. [to Luke] Hey, did you know about urine mints?

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: Oh, poor thing.
Luke: Dating's the worst.
Lorelai: Yeah, but they're sitting on the same side of the table and that's awkward, and she can't think of what to say next, and you know, she's just gotta go through it and figure it out on her own. You just have to throw them out there and let them learn what those wings are for.
Luke: She could say there's a draft.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Where she's sitting. She could say the air conditioning is hitting her, switch to the other side, and just blame it on that.
Lorelai: [gasps] That's perfect.

Quote from Lorelai

Rory: [answers phone] Mom?
Lorelai: Hey. Is he back yet?
Rory: No.
Lorelai: Say there's a draft and move to the other side of the table. It's very ladylike to feel drafts. He'll totally understand.
Rory: Okay, good.
Lorelai: And then ask what his brother and sister's names are. He'll like that you cared enough to confirm.
Rory: Yeah, that seems right.
Lorelai: Don't worry about the conversation. Just talk, and if the talk doesn't flow, it doesn't. And stay away from urine-related topics, and you're good to go.
Rory: Thanks, Mom.
Lorelai: Oh, the draft thing was Luke's.
Rory: Well, thank him for me, too.

Quote from Luke

Lorelai: Yeah, but dating is how you get to know your potential partner. It's the only way.
Luke: There's the gut. I can tell if I'm comfortable with someone within seconds of meeting them. I feel it here. I felt it with Rachel. I felt it with Nicole. I was immediately relaxed.
Lorelai: Hmm. You've got the gut thing.
Luke: Well, it's just knowing that someone will let you be. That's a gut thing.
Lorelai: Aah! You're fast-forwarding.
Luke: We'll not gonna get through this thing. I just wanna get to the good parts.
Lorelai: There are no bad parts of Casablanca. Just go back. Back. Ugh, I'm gonna go grab dessert.

Quote from Emily

Lorelai: [on the phone] Mom, this is just a big misunderstanding. Go ahead and hire Natalie.
Emily: But you'll still have a problem with both of us using her.
Lorelai: I will cease working with her. She's all yours. I'll tell her tomorrow.
Emily: Oh, wonderful. So it'll be my fault she loses the job. No, Lorelai, you keep her, and I promise I'll never speak to her - ever. If she's bleeding on the side of the road, I'll drive by and pretend I didn't see.

Quote from Rory

Rory: He was very nice, just not my type. Oh, and the whole draft thing backfired.
Lorelai: How so?
Rory: Well, I switched over to the other side of the table. Then he started to feel the same draft and came over to my side.
Lorelai: But we made up the draft.
Rory: The power of suggestion.
Lorelai: Boys are so malleable.

Quote from Rory

Rory: Wow, that's the coolest laundry basket I've ever seen. I love The Smiths.
Keebler: I had an older brother that got me into them, and when my friends were listening to Hootie and the Blowfish, I was memorizing "Meat is Murder."
Rory: Well, I have a mom who's pretty much cooler than anyone you'd meet, and she did the same thing.
Keebler: Mine's a plain old soccer mom, but she's great.
Rory: Well, being away like this makes you think about stuff like that, doesn't it - home?
Keebler: Totally.
Rory: Hey, would you maybe wanna get a cup of coffee sometime, in between classes or something?
Keebler: I don't think so, but thanks.
Rory: You're welcome.

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